Is there a good reason teachers get away with this stuff?

Why a teacher can say she believes it's a woman's choice to have an abortion and she doesn't want anyone writing a paper about it because she will grade it unfairly because she is very strong about the issue

OR

Why a teacher can show a video in a Biology that says 'As we can see from how similar humans are to other mammals, Darwin's theory was correct'

BUT Heaven forbid a teacher NOT lose their job because they mention God or Jesus in the classroom or push Christianity on you.


and THIS is why our society is on a highway to hell.

Let's change it my friends.

Where life is at.

A crazy holycrapIcantseriouslybelievethis stage.


First off, let's start where I left off with my car which was hit.

Well as always, God provided. I got my loan paid off and made about $2,000 off of the car.

In addition, after being forced to give back the Mustang after 2 weeks (I'll miss you baby!) I was able to find a very good price (got it for $5,000 even though it was on the guys lot for $7,500) on a Yellow 2002 Chevy Caviler LS. It's a pretty sick little car if I may so myself.
Fast, Loud, and Sunroof---> 3 things to look for in a car and I got all 3. HAHA
But seriously, it's sick looking and only has 50,000 miles so that's cool too. Thanks to my stepdad, I got a really good deal, and amazingly got approved for the entire amount of the loan and didn't have to put any money down.

School is a real JERK right now... and I'm super busy.

Hmmm I think that's all of the important info in my life

Oh wait...I forgot one thing. :P

Dating (with a purpose) : So...not sure how I explain this story without spending 10 years typing but I'll try.

Um....I guess the simple way to start is to say I AM dating. It just so happened that I fell for my best friend and she liked me to :P


So.... 4 years after meeting, having been best friends all of that time, suddenly were together.
She's amazing, or as my mom said about 502 times last night 'She's good for you'. Indeed she is. :)

Her name is Elisa and hopefully all of my friends get to meet her (If they haven't already). So....after 244 months of singleness....suddenly I'm not so single anymore :)

Honestly, she knows me better than I know myself and makes me study (not sure that I'm such a fan of that part). But seriously, she's amazing and very good to me.

I guess now the goal, if there can be one after only 3 weeks....is DON'T RUSH THINGS.

We have rushed stuff just a bit, so I'm trying to S-L-O-W down for now and take things easy.

A month ago I was just trying to get through school and work without wanting to kill myself. Now I've got a new set of dynamics to deal with and things to worry about, but I wouldn't have it any other way, and I certainly welcome the challenge. :)

One of those weekends!

And LONG too...

That it was. The beginning of the weekend just sucked.
Luckily, the past couple of days saved it.

Thursday/Friday: Throwing up (all over my school books... that was exciting).

Saturday: Work was 'ehh' as normal.
Then I went home to study. A friend invited me to go to Hershey for the night, so that was the plan. Then it went from bad to REALLY bad.

While on the way, I was in a car crash! :(
Some IDIOT ran a stop sign and T-boned me.
It was terrible to deal with, and it's looking like my car will be totaled. Thankfully though, I have loan-lease payoff, so my loan will be paid off and its looking like I will get some money back as well, but still it kinda stinks that I have to deal with the hassle and now will have to get approve for another loan.


Sunday: The day things kind of turned around, or at least the day the crash didn't leave such a bad taste. Here's why.

I went to get a rental car, which the insurance company is paying for, and as me and my dad pulled up to Hertz to get the car, I said

Wow, wouldn't it be AWESOME if they gave me that new Mustang.

I never REALLY considered it a possibility, but OH what a HUGE smile went over my face when the lady says,

By the way Mr. Schuchman, we upgraded you to a Ford Mustang.

My jaw dropped!
Literally.
2008 Mustang GT
Red and she is HOT :)


It is AMAZING and so fun to drive.
Fast and Hot looking.
Maybe a little too fast for my own good! ;)


Pictures of the crash and the Stang to follow when I can get them up.

Love=

Necessary evil
Confusing
Awkward
One part of life that I don't understand, no matter how hard I try.

Truth In Silence

I'm not a big fan of silence.

Anyone who knows me shouldn't find that hard to believe. There is rarely a moment where I have complete silence in my life. I almost always have sound coming into my ears, usually through music which I play constantly.
So when I am placed in a spot of of true silence, I find myself in awe. There I was last night, or rather this morning at 1:00. I laid there thinking,trying to fall asleep. Thinking about events of the past few days and different conversations I've had. And I sat there until 1:40 to think, in silence. I tried and tried and couldn't fall asleep, so instead, I thought/prayed/wondered in silence. I was dead tired, but couldn't sleep!
Then,after think so hard, I finally fell asleep at 1:45. End of story?

No. I was dead tired, and just praying I would wake up in time to get to work by 8 AM. So my alarms (Yes I use more than one) were set: 7:20 AM. Next thing I know, Awake, jumping out of bed, alarm going off, and so I turn them off (or at least I thought I did).

I came downstairs, shaved, and went back upstairs to get dressed. Then I looked at the clock. 2:40 AM. What? Didn't I just fall asleep? I have no idea what happened or how I just woke up, but I did. Then, suddenly, the thoughts were back in my head again, and so I knew I needed to blog it, or else I would forget it.

So much is going through my mind right now that I don't understand.
Love? EH.... Don't ask cause I don't understand. No seriously. My head says one thing, my heart says another. I guess my facebook status I set before I fell asleep could accurately describe it all.

John is headed to bed. Doesn't want to think about it,but praying he can dream about it.

My head said don't even THINK about it. My heart desired for more than just thinking, and wanted to dream about it. I'm really not sure how my head and heart co-exist in the same body since they pull in opposite directions almost all of the time! If I get to a T, my heart says left, while my head says right. SO which do I listen to?

There's the part in my head that says

"You've got a lot more to worry about in life right now than dating. You need to concentrate on school,work, and serving God"

My heart fights back ''You've never dated anyone, you've said ''true love waits'' for the longest time, not even giving yourself a chance, so maybe now's the time. Take that step''

So that's where I am. Do I try, or do I forget about it? Ignoring it is often harder than heartbreak, at least for me. Would I rather not find out at all....or find out,even if it means this isn't the right one? I don't know the answer.

There's a part of me that hates this entire discussion, but let me make things clear. I'm not just looking to be with ANYONE, because they have come along, but have not been committed to the same beliefs that I have. And I've got standards and beliefs, and I can't stretch those for any girl, no matter how much I wish I could.

I can't date a non-Christian. That is 100% out of the question. There are other things as well, but that is neither here nor there. More than anything, I want her to love God more than anything else, and seek his direction.

I'm learning things I need to know to begin preparing myself for someone special, so that's kinds cool I guess.

I've learned that :

I'm NOT always right.

Saying 'I'm Sorry' always helps things.

Shouldn't these things been learned years ago? Yeah probably.



So anyway. That's where I'm at.

Somewhere between 'desiring for a relationship' while also 'desiring to wait on God's timing'.

I'm not sure the two can co-0exist, but it feels like ,right now at least, I am living between the two of them.

All the while, I'm learning what he's trying to tell me through the silence. Music off, Lights Out, selfish hopes and desires laid aside. Silence.

The skeptic!

For those that didn't know, I began taking a friend of mine to a bible study about skepticism. He doesn't believe in God or Christianity, so I figured this would be a good environment for him to learn and ask questions while also being in a safe environment. So far so good. He thought the leader (my pastor Jim) was 'cool' and when I asked him what he thought of the book/study he said he 'couldn't say yet without giving it more time'. I took that as a 'Yes, I'll be back in 2 weeks'. That's more than I thought I would get. I thought I would take him and we would be disinterested in the conversation,angry he came, and never want to go back. None of the the three happened, but rather just the opposite happened.

Pray for him, and for me as I learn more than I ever thought I could.
I thought I was just a ride there for him. Instead I am concerned for him, while also learning something about myself and my skepticism.

He (God) raised Lazarus from the dead. I have to trust that he can work in the heart of my friend as well

One of those days?

Ya know....one of those (Oops I slept in, woke up at 10 which was way to late because I really need to be awake by 9 to study, and dang it I slept so long that now I am more tired than when I went to bed, and crap that paper is due in a couple hours and I haven't started it...and oh my gosh..have I moved to Alaska? It is so cold in this house I need 3 or 4 coats on just to survive, but at least I'm awake and didn't sleep right through my class at noon) days.

Alive and awake I am, and a little less stressed (while still job hunting)

Sick of school!

Seriously. When does it end. (checks WebAdvisor) 12/12/08.

Ugh, that can't come soon enough!

The semester started 42 days ago.

It ends in 69 days.

Ok I think I can handle that. I hope :/

It's just crazy and busy now.

Teachers need to realize that students have tough schedules and should work together and NOT all have test and papers due the same week!

Last week was so tough, with 3 test and 1 paper.
This week should be less stressful, hopefully!
I have a paper due tomorrow, a quiz tomorrow night, and a test that I am supposed to have taken by the end of this week (for one of my online courses).

So that's manageable!
Like I said though, I'm just ready for it to be over!

I am going over to the work study office tomorrow and hopefully getting some work on campus (about 10-15 hours a week)

That would make things a little more financially stable, so I'm praying that works out!

Still a lot going on

Work Today at 8 AM. Not cool. But hey, I'm glad for the job so I'm not gonna complain. (at least not on Saturdays where I actually make decent money)

Another Job. Still searching. My first option is going to be work study on campus at RACC. I plan on bring a resume in on Monday morning.

Phillies. For those that didn't know, I was at Thursday night's National League Divsion Series Phillies game vs. the Brewers. It was the largest crowd in the history of Citizen's Bank Park, and oh my gosh....it was amazing. The best game I'm ever been too, and the atmosophere was crazy! I got some sick pictures, and I'll be sure to post some pictures when I get them uploaded and editied.

Phillies Again. They play tonight in Milwakee. If they win, they'll be going to the NLCS, and 4 wins from the World Series. This is all so surreal. I can't believe this. My hope is to see them play my other team (Red Sox) in the World Series, but I just want to get through the Brewers before I worry about even the next round.

and Penguins :) The Pittsburgh Penguins open their season tonight from Sweden against the Ottawa Senetors!!! No more screwing around.
This is OUR YEAR! and I mUST MUST MUST see my Pens play this year, if I go to Philly, or if I have to WALK to Pittsburgh. I must see them play!

Work till 1
Test from 1:30-2:30
Pens from 2:30-5:30
Phillies from 6:30-9:30
And in between all that, I'll squezze it some homework. That is if I am awake.

I have to take this huge Bio test at 1:30, and I've been up all night studying for it.
I was NOT going to go into another test unprepared. So, I've studied all night.
Hopefully it pays off.

I'm done not working as hard as I can.
Believe it or not, community college really does suck, and I'm looking to get back to Desales and get through college ASAP!


Aight, that's all for now!


GO PHILLS/PENS :)

A week!?

Dang...sorry

I forget to blog.
Mostly because I've reformed my views.
NoBama.

haha no but seriously.

I feel less included to blog about everything I do now.

If you've read for a while, I used to blog every day, even when there was nothing worth blogging about....

Today...I went to the bathroom

That's what it seems like a lot of my post were like.
HAHA

so....that is gone.

I'll blog when I feel the need to do so.


So now I do:


School is going crazy.
1 test this week
1 paper due this week
another test (which I have to take tomorrow) :(


I need to work hard, and I mean really hard, just to keep up with this stuff!

This is what happens when you make a teacher mad

The teacher gives you a 3 page paper to write.

Yeah. Pretty 'el stupido' if you ask me, but who am I to have an opinion!?

My American Lit teacher was upset in class yesterday that very few of us had read the assigned text.

So she, being the intelligent person that she was (not) assigned us to write a 3 page paper on Thomas Payne.


UGH, as if I had nothing better to do with my life, I get to right a 3 page paper before Monday at noon.

I'd like teachers to get the memo: I have a life outside of your class!!

Yes, I survived

Little People Yes, I did indeed survive. I actually spent most of the time holding a little guy who didn't want to be alone. The kids were so cute :)

I missed the sermon, and that's never fun.... but I had a good time with the kids!

West Valley Presbeterian Church

to be a church for the West Valley,

in order that Jesus Christ is celebrated as

the only hope

for the brokenness in us and around us

Take two of a preview of all of this happens in just over an hour.
I'm excited to see how God uses this church.

The week is over,another begins!

My Week Yes it over (well, in a an hour). It was a tough one.
I said this in my last post and I say it again: there is a LOT going on on in my life.
It goes beyond school, it goes beyond my job.
And this week has brought more.

A long conversation (and long delayed) I talked to a friend that I haven't heard from since January. She has gone through a lot, more than I could have ever though was possible. The fact that she still is living and trying to get past what happened, is just an amazing inspiration and testimony to God's Grace and hand over everything.
I can't share much more, but please pray for her.

Photography Something I pretty much think about all of the free time I have. There is good reason for it, and I will share some information on that SOON!


Munchkins,little people, kids As in, I'll be watching them tomorrow during the service at West Valley PCA. I got a call tonight asking if I would help with the kids on the morning (because I was on a short list who has gone through the background check and could). I'm exited! I've working with the 6-8 year old range at Cornerstone, but this is my first time with really little people! (2-4 year olds is the age range I think). I'll let ya'll know how it goes. Hopefully I'll survive without stained clothes or glue everywhere! :P

Just another week

Is it the weekend yet? No, but thursday are pretty easy! I need it.

Seriously...I'm in serious 'Rush till you got no more energy left in you' rut. I want to get out of it!!!

School is busy, work is busy, and it's just the start of the business...or was that the last time I blogged?

I don't know. But it's busy.
I need to get on a set schedule of studying, and once I do that I will be fine and not rushing as much.

Along with school and work, I'm part of so many other things... but that's discussion for another day.

A day that's too long.

That is, today.

I am spending the day working...a long long day.

I went into work at 8 this morning. (which is way to early for ANY day of the week!!!)
The morning wasn't bad, but I am not holding onto hope that the evening will not be.

I got done at 1 and went home, and am currently trying to ENJOY my 2 hours away from work, and then I go back from 3-11 (which will probably stretch out to midnight).

Then I will try to drive home (if I haven't gone crazy and driven off a bridge halfway through my shift) to try and get a decent nights sleep before I wake up to go help set up for the 1st West Valley PCA Service! (that part is actually exciting!!!) More to follow about that tomorrow!

But first.....I have to get through this horrible day of work.

Trying to plant my feet.

That I am.
In more ways than one.

I'm trying to be more consistent about blogging (I promise).
I'm trying to work my way around the boxes and piles of junk in my room and get things organized so I have a Room here at my dad's house,not just a room where I keep unorganized junk!

and....I'm trying to get my life in order as well. That is, it's not in order now. I'm trying to get better about preparing enough time for the things that need attention, most importantly, studying!

I haven't fallen behind in school YET, but I'm getting into those make or break weeks where you either set yourself to do well, or get so behind that you set yourself up to never recover the rest of the semester, and you spend the entire rest of it just trying to keep your head above water with your work, but you are so behind that there is no hope to succeed.

So with that said, I've realized that I need to be more organized, so I'm doing my best to keep up with the school work, and so far I'm doing ok.

Time to make or break.

Alive, Barely

Yes I am I alive
Yes the blog died for a while
Yes I am back to stay,as is the blog.

Where was I? Trying to figure out life and where mine is going, specifically for this fall
What have I figured out? I know that I am living with my dad in Reading,PA. I am going to RACC (Reading Area Community College). I am working at a restaurant near my dad's house.

Besides that, I haven't figured out much.

I thought I had things figured out. I had a job for Sleepy's paying decent money.Then out of the blue, I lost my job. The position was no longer one within the company. Apparently, they are not making enough money to pay someone to sit all day for 20 hours a week. GO figure.

At that point, a good friend helped me get a job at this restaurant. It doesn't pay much, but its close to home and gives me a decent amount of hours. For that I am truly thankful. God has certainly showed me what hard work REALLY means, because I work my BUTT off.

With that said, the job is going well, and I am looking to get an increase in hours hopefully sometime this month.


Other than all of that, I have been helping my family pack for Virginia, and they moved last Monday. :(

More details on that to follow, but it was a crazy time as I tried to help them get the house packed up while also trying to figure out what I was going.

I'm learning more and more that trying to figure things out on my own doesn't do very much good. Instead, it leave me hanging by a thread feeling like 'Yeah I'm alive, but barely hanging on', just hoping God is TRULY holding on to me.

This post is vague, and for good reason. I will discuss many of these things in details face-to-face with many of you over the next few weeks, and will also fill in the blanks .

Until then,
Viva la Vida!

where my life is going?

I wish I knew the answer to that.None of my plans have gone.

I'm not back at Desales, and won't be until 2009.
and now, suddenly I am jobless and carless.

Thursday, I found out that the program I was working under for Sleepy's was done. In other words, John is IMMEDIATELY jobless with no prior notice, and I didn't do anything wrong to deserve losing the job.

Then, Friday, my car broke down on the side of the road. Yes, the car I just bought. And today I found out that the bill for the car is $800. Needless to say, I don't have enough money to fix it.

I don't know why this is happening.

Its days like the past few days that I really question whether God is in control.

Texting: A bad habit.

The American College of Emergency Physicians warned this week of the danger of more serious accidents involving oblivious texters.

The ER doctors cite rising reports from doctors around the country of injuries involving text-messaging pedestrians, bicyclists, Rollerbladers (sic), even motorists.

Most involve scrapes, cuts and sprains from texters who walked into lampposts or walls or tripped over curbs.

Still, ER doctors who responded to a recent informal query from the organization reported two deaths, both in California. A San Francisco woman was killed by a pickup truck earlier this year when she stepped off a curb while texting, and a Bakersfield man was killed last year by a car while crossing the street and texting.

The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission has no national estimate on how common texting-related injuries are. But among the reports it has received: A 15-year-old girl fell off her horse while texting, suffering head and back injuries, and a 13-year-old girl suffered belly, leg and arm burns after texting her boyfriend while cooking noodles.

How stupid do you have to be to text while riding a horse? Come on now....

The best day of the year!

Today is International Lefthanders Day! Give your favorite southpaw a hug-or try switching hands for a day!

A mad packing contest

That's what today was like. My room is almost all packed, and today we made some major progress with the garage and arranged it so we could move all of the packed boxes from the rest of the house down there and have some extra space in the rest of the house. It was good to get something accomplished, but its sad because I'm realizing that in less than 3 weeks, I won't be living here anymore :(

An honest challenge

I said this to a friend last night, today I said it to myself (alot), and now, I say it to you.
It's coming from my heart, and it's me being honest and sharing what I'm thinking.

You often complain about how bad your life sucks, but have you ever stopped and said ,God's got everything in control, and I really don't need to worry, and knowing he has everything in control? It really means that you need to say, 'ya know... my life IS NOT that bad.' Have you ever considered the fact that he has things going on that even you don't understand, but he promises that it will all work out! Do you consider the fact that he has something going on that is bigger and better than yourself?

I said what I was thinking, because I thought it was needed. I've realized over the past 29 hours that really it was ME who needed to hear it, not her.

Yay!....not

I registered for courses today at RACC. If they reality hadn't sunk in that I will be at RACC again this fall and not at Desales, today I got a reality check. As of now the classes aren't set because I am trying to get another class (and skip the pre-requesit). So, I have to go to RACC at some point this week or next to try to get in that class. Until then...I REALLY need to get this Marketing course done!

I knew this would come back to haunt me...

Not being done with school.

I have 2 incomplete courses from the Spring Semester, and was told all along by the teachers 'take your time to finish these courses'. Well I took my time...and much more, as it is now the beginning of August and the courses are not done.
I have begun to make progress though, as I spent about 4 hours working on my Marketing course, in hopes to get this course done by the end of this week. The plan is to take to final exam on Thursday or Friday morning, and working on the final 2 projects from now to then...in hopes of having this course completely done by that point.

Then, I will start working on the Computer Applications course next week...and it is a LOT of work and it is HARD work! (You'd think someone that spends as much time on the computer as I do would find this course easy! Unfortunately, its not easy, but in fact quite complicated!

Hopefully I can have this stuff done within the next couple weeks!

It is LONG overdue!

A typical Sunday

Well sorta typical I guess.
I was up by 6:45 and off to church by 7:15 ( I seriously can't stress enough how old that is becoming). Then After church, I had to work (which I am also getting sick of). There, unlike yesterday....I sat there....bored. I was at one of the Sleepy's in Pottstown, but I again had some really good food, that someone else paid for (which makes it extra nice). I sat there thinking

Is this what Sunday, A day of rest is supposed to look like? Most Sundays I
spend at least 3- 4hours driving, between church,work, West Valley PCA church
plant meetings,and home. This cna't be what 'A day of rest' should look like.

I don't like it, but it is what it is, and at this point, it's all I got So I try to at least be thankful for the hours at work and the ability to still get to church and spend some time with people before I need to leave for work. I guess in that aspect, I'm thankful that my church starts at a rediculously early time. It gives me time to fellowship afterwards without rushing right out of church or missing church, like I would if we still met at 11.

Being Productive at work!

For me, that is a revolutionary concept! For the most part, I sit in a chair for 11 hours and am bored all day and don't do much of anything. Well, today I was in Morgantown, and was actually quite busy. The District Manager was there, so it meant a lot of people were calling into the store for approval codes and what not. I became the phone operator, and answer AT LEAST 100 calls during the day. It certainly kept me busy and not bored for once. There was even an instance where both salespeople and the DM were with costumers at the same time, and suddenly I got thrown into the role of "keep this lady in the store long enough so someone can get free and help her. Don't say anything stupid, and don't let her walk!"

Well, I won....as she didn't go anywhere and eventually bought.

IT was actually a fun day at work, because for once I didn't just sit in a store,try not to fall asleep, and play games on my phone.

Productivity is sweet! :P

The company you keep will determine the trouble that you meet!!

Think about THAT!

another day of fun.

Trust me, it needs to end soon. I'm spending too much money, though mostly what I am spending is money for gas to drive places but whatever. Yesterday I was at the beach all day. Today I was home working till 7 but then went into Reading to play Laser Tag with a few people, and then back to someone's house to swim. I HAVE managed my finances better, so I have more money to work with, but it won't last forever.

Tonight cost me $20 between Laser Tag, food, and driving to Reading. Life is a picnic now because I basically hang out with SOMEONE almost every night, but like I said...its ending soon. Most of these people head back to school in a few weeks...who knows what I'll be doing in September.
:(

Which way to the beach?

Apparently you drive for a long long time with some cool friends and then a couple annoying kids as well and you get there. Or at least thats what it felt like today, as I was in the car with 13 other people and took a trip to Wildwoods. The day was actually really fun until the ride home which was just too much as all of us were crammed,tired,burned (badly), and annoyed. We left Reading at a little after 7 this morning, and got to the beach at about 10:00. It was great to spend some time with friends of mine and get a chance to hit the beach (probably for the last time this summer). We didn't get back to Reading till 10:30 so it was a very long day,but also a fun one. We played volleyball,ultimate frisbee, walked along the boardwalk, and swam in the freezing water, not necesarily in that order, and not necesarily only once each as I found myself going back and forth from swimming to the boardwalk at least 3 times!

Overall, it was a great day. and of course, pictures will follow at some point soon!

Maybe this is my call

Sunday Night, I was once again at the Reed's house for the West Valley church plant meeting. We studied Acts 17:16-34. We studied it in a different way than I have been accustomed to, as instead of someone just explaining things, the group was asked to point out things that stuck out to them (and why). I will try to get into the discussion itself at some point, but not now. the way we examined the passage was amazing, and it helped me learn a lot.

I also realized something about the church plant Sunday night that I had not realized before. One of my biggest fears with going with the plant is that I don't know many of the people going. Then, Sunday night it hit me, as I was talking to 2 people I did not really know (I knew OF them,but did not know them). As I had these conversations, I realized that I am begging to know the people who will be part of this plant, just by being at these meetings! It's elementary I guess, but I had not really thought about it. The more I spend with these 'planters', the more I will get to know them and become a part of their life.

Czech this out

On Saturday, my sister left Philadelphia to fly to Los Angeles and meet a team of people whom she is going to Prague in the Czech Rebuplic with on a missions trip. She was in L.A. for a few days and an hour ago, her plane left for Heathrow Airport in London. Please pray for her and the team while they are on this trip, and feel free to check out her blog she made for the trip (which already has some really AWESOME pictures on it!) You can check that out here!

I guess I should have shared this by now.

For those of you that don't know, I am moving...and it might be to Virginia.

Below is an email that I sent to a group of people I know from church, and I figured I would share it here so my 'blog readers' also know what is going on.







Hey C3 folks! Hope this finds you all well.
Some of you have heard this, but I wanted all of you to know.

About 3 weeks ago, I found out that my family (Mom,Stepdad, and 3 younger siblings) are moving to Fredericksburgh,Virginia because my stepdad is moving positions within his company. My older sister will stay behind and live with my dad in Reading (in between college). My mom and stepdad have left me with a decision that I never wanted to make.
I can either stay here and live with my dad, or go with them. My stepdad leaves next Tuesday to begin his new position, and the rest of my family will be out of where we live now September 1st. It finally hit me today that this is for real, as I began packing up a lot of the stuff in my room. (Since I either move down there, or move to my dad's house)

They want me to at least check out some churches and schools down there , which I have begun doing, and make a 'list' of what I have here, and what I have (potentially) down there,as to weigh the options. They were hoping that I would not write off going with them without looking into it, and I have tried not to.

On the one hand, I don't want most of my family to leave and only see them a few times a year,
but on the other hand, I don't want to leave my dad,older sister, or the Lehigh Valley behind.

Over the last 23 months, I have gotten to know this core group more than I could ever have imagined. I have so many wonderful friends and influences in this group, that I never want to leave. Through God's grace, my life has changed dramatically over that time, and I have so many of you to thank for that. This (along with Cornerstone) was the first group I was ever part of where ,when someone asked me how I was doing, I knew they really wanted to know, and didn't just want to hear "good". I want to stay, because I want to continue to be a part of this ministry, but at the same time, I don't feel like I can say "NO" if God has called me to go to Virginia. My desire is to serve wherever God wants me, and if that is in Virginia, then so be it.

Again, I want to thank you all for the time I have had with all of you. Please pray for me this week, as I try to make a decision.


Thanks you all for your continued prayers and support
John Schuchman

My boring weekends!

Also known as WORK.....which is what I am doing today.


It is SOOOOO boring......

I sit in a chair, in a suit....for 11 hours. That's what I do.
Except today when I have been playing DDR and Guitar Hero on Nintendo DS (which has been quite fun but I'm still bored as all get out)



Yeah so I'm kinda realizing that I need a new job....bad.
This job makes me want to shoot myself in the foot. :(


But it pays the bills so I guess I can't complain!

A night for the Youth

Last night, I was able to attend the "Youth BBQ" that Cornerstone had to welcome to introduce the youth to Mike and Jenn Notary, the new youth directors (and good friends of mine).


Many questions surrounded my night, such as "Will I even be allowed to serve with the HS ministry and if so when". I tried to not think about it, but it came to my mind often.

I can't answer any of those questions, and I'm not sure the church has any answers yet either.

For now, I'm happy where I am at, and was thankful to get to know some of the Middle School kids and a lot of the parents.

My hope is to (if I stay in PA) to jump back into the HS group in the fall, but I'm not hoping for it because I don't want to be disappointed if it doesn't happen.

This is NOT good!

Is It NBA or NFL?


36 have been accused of spousal abuse

7 have been arrested for fraud

19 have been accused of writing bad checks

117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses

3 have done time for assault

71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit

14 have been arrested on drug-related charges

8 have been arrested for shoplifting

21 currently are defendants in lawsuits

84 have been arrested for drunk driving in
the last year


Can
you guess which organization this is?


Give
up yet? . . Scroll down,




















Neither,
it's the 435 members of the United States Congress


The same group of Idiots that crank out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of us in line.

the stupidity of some people.

I often question whether or not people are relly as stupid as they look. I did that today.

Here was the situation.

I went to Barnes & Noble to 'study' because they have free wireless internet.

Well I go inside and start to look for a table with an electrical outlet so I can plug in my laptop. Not that complicated, right? Wrong. They had No outlets in the whole place. None.


You have to wonder 'Who built a Barnes & Noble with no outlets when the advertise that they have free wireless'

Either A, they didn't want people staying all day and using their internet the whole time... or

B They are just completely stupid.


I'd like to think it was A....but I'm pretty convinced its B.

Why is it so hard

To tell someone you care about them, to tell them you want to be with them.

Relationships suck.
The end.

a different weak,a different man.

I often feel like the title of this post accurately describes how I feel.

I go from week to week, and nothing ever changes in my life.
My 7 days of 24 hours are not weeks, they are weaks. I sometimes say to myself in the later half of a certain week, "Hey this week hasn't been bad. I haven't done this, but then, there's other issues going on, or if not, the same struggles are back just days later.

I find myself between a rock and a hard place wondering

Who am I.. am I the person who's heart cries out for the youth of this generation, who has a desire to help those in need, and who loves seeing the look on a child's face in a Sunday school class when they begin to understand the gospel (sometimes hard with the younger kids). Or....am I the person who longs to make myself happy, lives for myself, and often sins while not caring about the consequences or effects on others

I know that the real desire in me is the first scenario, but am I living like that?

So, that's why I often feel like my days are just one struggle after another.



Sunday night after the WVPCA Church Plant Meeting I drove home thinking the following:
Unless you begin to cling to Christ for everything you need, you are truly hopeless. How can you believe that you will soon (if you stay) be able to live by yourself, when you can't be responsible, truthful, and live for God.


So that's why I say 'A different weak, a different man', though now, it's no longer a weak but rather a true week. Unfortunately,I can't change what I have done and how I have sinned or struggled 3 weeks ago, 1 week ago, yesterday or whatever.

I can only worry about how I am living today, and I need to live my life for him, to become a different man, to show everyone around me through what I say and what I do, that my life is different, and I'm not longer living for myself... I'm (by his grace) living for him, no matter what the cost.

So I can only worry about today.
I don't think it is all that complex. It start with the simple stuff like skipping the 'rap' playlist on my iPod and opting for the 'Worship' playlist (Believe it or not, the words you hear do change what you think about and desire, as I have recently experienced it firsthand). Another simple step is just reading my bible everyday!

So simple, but it's often so hard to follow through.

It's a different weEk. So, now is the time to be a different man (the man I have been created to be).


More often then not, I will fail, but through his spirit inside me, there WILL be a change!


So now the daily question becomes.

Am I living for Christ today?

A crazy day

That's what today was. I did a ton of driving (almost 200 miles) and that's never fun, but it was still a great day.

I woke up at 7:15 this morning after staying at a friend's house. From there, I went to church (ugh 8:30 is getting REAL old) and then chatted for a bit after church. From there I went to work @ 11. After work, I went up to the WVPCA church planting meeting. It was a great night, as we saw the Values, Vision, and Mission. Then I began my drive home, thinking and praying about what is at work in the West Valley.

It's been a long day, so I'm out.

see ya next time :)

Chillin and Grillin

Today I have been working at the Sleepy's store in Pottstown. It is the first day I have working in 2 weeks! It has been quite boring so far but we had some good food so it kind of saved the day! We grilled some hamburgers and hot dogs for lunch ( I love stuff grilled on a charcoal grill! ). Then we had Bacon Pizza from Papa John's for dinner.

I found out I will be back here working tomorrow, which I don't like to do, but I need all the hours I can get.

Tonight I am going to hang out with a buddy of mine that I haven't seen for a while. Then it's up at 7:30 tomorrow and off to church! :/

My Computer is home!!!!

Yay! Today is an exciting day!!! My computer FINALLY came back today! Finally.....no more blogging from my phone!!!I'm so happy, you have no idea.

I waited almost a month for this day.

Now I have no excuse to not finish my school. Dang....

Happy Birthday Mom!

Today is my mom's birthday! (also known as "Anonymous" commenter on my blog)

I don't think I am going to embarrass her by sharing how old she is, but she's OLD!!

Haha. Happy Birthday Mom :)

Pictures..

Ok... so I promised you guys pictures of the Camping Trip and the Reading Phillies game where Brett Myers pitched.

Well....I cam partially fulfill that promise, but not completely.

I lost one of my CompactFlash cards so as of right now I don't have the pictures from camping or from most of the game, but here are a few....because a promise is a promise :P

So anyway, I hope you enjoy!

Oh...and I bought Step Up 2: The Streets today! YAY!!!



All of these pictures ,except for the first one,are of Myers, and if you don't know who he is...why are you even here???

The first photo is Brad Harman, a top prospect in the Phillies minor league system who spent time with the Philadelphia Phillies earlier this season when Chase Utley was injured.


Anyways. Enjoy.

An exciting day!!

That's what today is....

Why you ask!?

Well you shouldn't have to!

Anyone who is cool should know the reason for the excitement!


Today, Step Up 2: The Streets comes out on DVD!!!!

WOOHOO!

Why I don't buy from QVC

Hopefully this explains it....

Churchplanters in the West Valley

Tonight, I was privledged to spend a night with the group from the West Valley Church Plant (set to begin public worship in September Lord willing). They have been meeting every Sunday night, but my schedule had not allowed me to attend until this week. I still don't know whether I will go with the plant or stay wiht Cornerstone( that is if I stay in the area and do not move, more info to follow on that later this week). Part of me wants to stay at Cornerstone for different reasons (most of the people I am close to are staying, most of the younger guys are staying,etc). So...I don't know what I am doing. Initially I wanted to go with the plant, then I felt like I needed to stay with Cornerstone, and now I have kind of opened my mind and heart back up (again) to either, whether it be staying with Cornerstone, or going with the plant. So...IF I stay in the area, I will continue to worship with Cornerstone while also attending the weekly West Valley PCA meetings on Sunday nights, because I've closed my heart for too long, so where God wants me...is where I want to be.

Backpacks,Baseball, and Brett

That's how I describe my perfect Saturday.
This morning the "crew" woke up at about 8 AM, and we hiked down about .5 miles to Sunfish Pond, then back to our campsite. We began our hike back at about 10:30 AM after we packed up our stuff. We hiked about 4 miles through the valley! :) We hiked a total of about 8 miles in the 2 day adventure. I was so worn out that I slept on the way back to Coopersburg, where we arrived at about 2:30. From there, I went home to Reading where I arrived at about 4. From there....I waited. Waited until about 5:30, where I then went to see the Reading Phillies, to see Brett Myers pitch! I took some awesome pictures (of course) and then came up with a brilliant idea. I brought my CF card to Wal-Mart, printed some of my photos, and then went back to the game to get Myers to sign them. As always, he was a jerk...and only signed for 2 people...but I was one of them ;)

SO anyway....now that you have learned a little of my dorky baseball experiences, I am out. Pictures to follow as soon as I can upload some!

Camping

Right now....on the Appalachain Trail. It has been so much fun :)

I have spent a couple of hours with 2 other men, having a great time discussing and learning.
Its been awesome!

More to come :) including pictures. YAY!

What defines me?

Hopeless.

That's where I'm at. I feel insecure,upset, alone, and I KNOW I have failed, once again.

Being a Christian is EASY when I'm at church, at bible study, or hanging with any of my Christian friends.

Being a Christian is HARD the rest of the time... when I'm working, when I'm driving, when I'm at a (non-Christian) friend's house, when I'm at the store, or when I'm alone and I feel like no one is watching me.

So what defines me?

Does the Lord who is doing a great work in my life and continues too?

OR

Do all the 'patterns of this world' and 'deep desires' that I KNOW are sinful but WANT anyway?


I know what the answer should be, but sadly, and it breaks my heart to say this, that's not what the answer is.

I need to live a different life.

Again I cry out, "Lord Save Me"

Transition Time

Some people who know me well know that I called this past month a 'month of transition'. It was in many different ways. I got a new car, moved closer to getting a new job, set up my plans for the summer, and continued to work on working out my plans for the fall. I recently heard some news that will REALLY make not the next month, but the next 60 days a TRUE month of transition, not just for my summer or fall, but rather for the entire rest of my life!

More details to come tommorrow or sometime soon.

Please pray for me through this REAL time of transition and pray that I can figure out what I am to do and where I am too go.

Night at the Phillies!

I went to the Phillies vs. Mets game last night in Philadelphia!

After coming back form down 8-0, and 10-2, the Phills came back against the Mets bullpen to come within 1 hit of winning the game in the 9th. They loss 10-9. It was cool to at least see them not lose heart and keep fighting!
Here are just a few pictures of my fun night!

(I tired to make the pictures bigger but they extended off the screen)

Soo click the picture to expand it, and you can see the rest of the photos here

Adam Eaton (got rocked).

Pedro Martinez (is not the pitcher he once was).

Chris Coste (IS THE MAN).

Pat Burrell (deserves to be an All-Star).

J.C. Romero (also deserves to be an All-Star. He's one of the best relievers in the game today).

Gregg Dobbs (is here because I took an AMAZING PICTURE, not because he's talented).

Ryan Howard (slams the homers).

David Wright (is the only Met worthy of ANY respect).

hmm

'God sent a repair crew for this broken world...
and we are it.'

I get it!

I finally understand why I didn't blog for most of June. Blogging for me became more about the traffic (how many people were visiting my blog) than about the content of my posts. I came to a point where I got sick of blogging because I was posting because of who was reading instead of saying what was on my mind/in my heart. I told myself I would return when I didn't post because of who was visiting. I used to check my 'blog tracker' everyday, and usually more than once today. My blog is back, and I haven't checking my tracker in over a month, because I don't NEED to know how many people are reading or WHO is reading to be able to share what I am feeling.So I continue to blog, without tracking the blog :)

broken in pieces

I'm here again
A thousand miles away from you
A broken mess, just scattered pieces of who I am
I tried so hard
Thought I could do this on my own
I've lost so much along the way


I've come undone
But you make sense of who I am
Like puzzle pieces in your eye

Then I'll see your face
I know I'm finally yours
I find everything I thought I lost before
You call my name
I come to you in pieces
So you can make me whole!

My time in the woods, PArt 2

So......after my post last night.....I was with the man for another 2 hours. Basically, like I said last night, he didn't have his sons # (or at least not his USA ONE!!! LOL )

so anyway...the cops never arrived and said the got 'lost' My mom got involved and called her friend from Wycliffe to try to get Wycliffe to track this guy down, to no avail. At about 10:15 I got a call from a New Holland cop, basically telling me there wasn't much they could do :(

3 minutes later, another New Holland cop called me to tell me he had talked to this mans son twice and had his number for me ( So one cop says they can't do anything..another gives me all the info I need....haha)

Anyways..

I called his son and we talked about where to meet. So, I drove there to bring this man to his dad.

Once there, the old man was telling me how I went way above and beyond what I should have. I told him that I had not listened to God's call to help so many times before, way too often. I also told him so many times people have helped me and this was my turn to help someone else.

We both shared stories about how we had so many times not been as genorous or giving/charitable as we know God has wanted. I shared with him what I shared with you all last night, as I tried not to cry in front of this total stranger who I at this point felt like I had known for years!

His son and wife arrived soon afterwards and we chatted for a few minutes before we both parted ways.


I was so THANKFUL for this experience and life lesson. Thanks again Lord :)


Hopefully I won't ignore the next person I see who needs help! Hopefully I can also teach those around me to be willing to listen to God's call!!!!

That's my prayer.





Oh.....and Happy Independence Day!!!

I worked all day and now am going to Chuck E Cheese with my family. HAHA. Its for my brother, not me ;)

Helpless in the woods!

Right now I'm standing in the middle of the road with a man I don't know....waiting for the cops to arrive...


Not exactly what I woke up this morning thinking I would be doing. Amazingly, I'm not in trouble!!!


I went to Wal-Mart and on my way back stopped at Trailside (where I used to work) to get some milk for the family. While inside I was asked by a former co-worker if I knew where a certain road was. I said I didn't but would check on the GPS I had with me. After searching, I was able to find it, and said I would try to help him get to his son and wife, whom he lost. He was without a cell phone, and tried calling his wife from a payphone but her phone was off. He was also not able to get in touch with his son.

So... we drove about 4 miles to where he thought the house was that his son was going too., but got nowhere.

At this point we were at a dead end, it was getting late, and he had no idea where to turn. I decided to call the police hoping his son had called or something. His son had not called them, but they said they would send an officer up to help us!

Come to find out (as we wait for the cops) this man's son is a missionary helping to translate bibles for Wyclif Bible Translators in Papa New Guini, which he and his wife have been doing for 12 years!!!

This was awesome to hear because I know people, friends of my mom who served with Wyclif in the Philipeans doing exactly what this man's son is doing!!



Wow, so here I stand (actually right now I am sitting in the middle of the road),sharing stories with this man who is just full of wisdom. We have talked about Wyclif, about bible translation around the world, and about our families!

What a great experience this has been!


Why I share this? Its certainly not for the praises of those around me, because seriously, I've spent 20 years and 9 days, living for myself, at the cost of others. So instead of wanting praises, what I need is people to be frustrated with me and ANGRY AT ME for the way I've lived!! What a disgrace.

WHAT TOOK SO LONG TO STOP LIVING MY LIFE FOR MYSELF??? And yet tomorrow and the next day and the next day, ect... I will DESIRE to live for myself. In my heart though, I know I WANT to help others. My desire is to help people! I want to help people that are lost (physically AND SPIRITUALLY), I WANT to TOUCH THE LIVES of the YOUTH around me and point them to my SAVIOR!!!!!


I called my mom to explain why I wasn't home (when I should have been home over 2 hours ago).

As any mother would, she was worried about me and responded that I shouldn't be out with some man I don't know in the middle of the night because 'its dangerous'.

I told her there was nothing to worry about, and I'm really not worried!

Seriously, I couldn't think of a better way to die than trying to help a fellow man!!!

That.....would be totally awesome!!

I've seen progress in my life. A year ago I would have 'shut my ear' to someone asking for directions. And yet, Now its not as noticable, but I still shut my ear to those around me, to my family and everyone else.

Has God done wonders in the last 2 years.....year.......6 months......MONTH...OF MY LIFE???? OF COURSE!!!


But how often have I ignored his call....even recently, to help those around me? How often in the past (insert time frime no matter how long or short) have I been too worried about what others thought of me to give a homeless guy on the street the change in my pocket....


or how often have I been too 'scared about my own safety' to pick up someone walking on the highway???


I've become accustom to turning my head or coming up with a 'good reason' Not to stop. :(





Save me Lord.
I NEED YOU!!!!

(and help us find this man's son as well.)


:)

Please pray today.

For my family: I am at the hospital with my sister Margaret, who is 16. I have been here with her since noon. She basically fainted this morning. It has happened one time before. The last time this happened, she fell down a flight of stairs and began shaking and looked very pale. Today it wasn't as bad, but its still a problem that needs to be figured out.

Also pray for my mom and stepdad, who today are down in Virginia looking at houses for the third straight week. Pray that they will stay safe, and pray that Gods will be done. It looks more and more like they will be moving to VA which leaves me with soon to come choices that I don't feel ready to make.


For a friend.
I have a friend who went to Bob Jones University. Last week, while talking summer classes, she ran away from the school. She is currently in Alabama. I can't share a lot of the details, especially on my public blog, but she won't tell her family anything, so I have been dragged into it to help them get information from her. She is convinced that she is doing what is 'right' but I KNOW she is making dumb decisions and she needs prayer.



For me:

I need prayer because I feel frustrated over the school thing discussed in my last post and all of the unknowns for the fall. I also am frustrated about the job situation. I also need prayer for good decision making in terms of (if my family goes to VA) whether I should go or not, and if I don't where I should live and such.


:sighs:

Thanks guys!

Where have I been?

That question is so hard to answer, especially in a blog post which I would like to keep short.

Well let's start by saying I am STILL looking for a job. Sears=No, UPS= probably won't happen, but this one was by choice. Again it's hard to explain why I can't get a job. Part of it I don't understand, much of it I do. Unless your one of the few people who know where I've been and what I've done, you won't understand. So anyways. I am still working as a "greeter" for Sleepy's as well as getting some extra hours as a 'secret shopper' today and this past Saturday as well as re-arranging two showrooms last Tuesday, so Thank you Lord for that opportunity!

What's up with school= Still not done these two stupid classes *pause to beat myself over the head with a stick* I need to get them done, and am taking the remaining tests next week. I also got a very encouraging email from Desales, which basically says that I can still get in for the fall if I have everything completed (online quiz, getting them my transcript) by August 1st.
6 weeks until classes start.
I am counting ;)
It would be awesome to be back for the fall, though it will be hard to make happen.
I would also have nowhere to live...so that will require some work as well.....

My computer= finally got sent back last week (one of the big reasons I haven't posted much in June, its hard to blog with a computer that doesn't work!) I should get it back sometime before next Wednesday ( can I survive that long without it!!!!????)



Last Tuesday= A week ago today, I turned 20 years old!!!
I was thankful for my awesome friend Ryan, who came out and went to Shady Maple with me, and to my family who planned a wonderful birthday dinner which I enjoyed thoroughly :)



( I have other thoughts about my birthday, which you will see in a post sometime very soon!)

Thanks for reading guys. I promise to return to the daily blogging in July. ( A reason why I was "off" for June is also coming in a soon to be post!)

Till then
-John

Best Sleep. Ever.

Last night I had the best sleep of my life. No question about it. Yesterday my step-dad had me come into the Exton showroom. I picked up a very nice headboard/footboard there and got the sale written up. An hour later, I was driving to pick up the matress in Lancaster. I set it up yesterday afternoon and was sleeping on it hours later.
Tonight's sleep will be even better with the temper-pedic pillow my stepdad brought home for me tonight!!!!
It's as close to heaven as I have been so far!


In addition, today I FINALLY got my haircut. Now I just need to wait a couple weeks before I can dye my hair (hopefully)

As for everything else, the job hunt is still on. I have to call Sears tomorrow and then check a few places early next week. This is getting old...

what I have been up too.

Where I have been over the past few days:


Saturday I worked all day, from 10-9

Sunday I also worked all day after church 11-7

Monday I was home all day and then had an interview/tour with UPS at 6 pm. Then I got to spend some day with my good friend Ryan. We went to the Golf drving range. It was my first time doing it. All I had ever done before was mini-golf. I was pretty terrible, even for my first time, but it was certainly fun. Then we went to get some late night food.

On Tuesday and Wednesday, I did work around the house and then tried to get school done, and failed misserably!



Today I had some errands to run, including one for my mom in Downingtown (where I am now). In a few minutes, I will be going to the Sleepy's Exton showroom to check out some beds ( I need a new one).


Since those of you who know me from Cornerstone have last seen me I have :

1.Gotten a new car
2. Been turned down on the job I applied for with Sleepy's (which is very frustrating, but what can I do?)
3. Found out that there is a possibility my family will be moving to Fredericksburg,VA
4. Attempted to get a much needed haircut, to no avail.
5. Had an interview/tour with UPS. They offered me a position but the hours and pay is not what I was made to believe it was, so I probably will not take it.
6. Searched for other jobs, but haven't found much yet. I really need to stop going slow and hurry up and find something.
7. Not received a paycheck in what is about to be 7 weeks. Needless to say, I am upset with the people with Sleepy's who handled my timesheets. Thank goodness I was able to manage my last paycheck well, because I still have money left from it.


That's about it I think!
Hopefully I can get that haircut today!

No words to express my thoughts on this.

The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians, who acknowledge Jesus with their lips then walk out the door and deny him by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable.

Conversations with an athiest...

Recently, I had a conversation online with a friend who has basically rejected everything about Christianity. Dealing with him is frustrating because I don't understand his thinking.

Hopefully at least questioning his thinking will get somewhere.

His away message had the following quote

I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you
do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will
understand why I dismiss yours.

Here is the conversation that followed. To protect the ignorant, I took out his screen name...


ryanhoward1pro (10:44:41 PM): what’s with your away message?
M (10:46:43 PM): what don’t you understand?
ryanhoward1pro (10:47:20 PM): Doesn't really make sense
M (10:47:28 PM): sure it does
ryanhoward1pro (10:47:41 PM): How so
M (10:47:53 PM): god r u really that stupid
M (10:48:01 PM): its pretty straight forward
ryanhoward1pro (10:49:23 PM): Not really
ryanhoward1pro (10:50:09 PM): An atheist says there are no gods, so how could you say someone is an atheist when they believe in God?
M (10:50:29 PM): because they discard the possibility of all other gods
ryanhoward1pro (10:51:01 PM): that doesn't make them an atheist...
ryanhoward1pro (10:51:35 PM): and what "other gods" are you referring to
M (10:51:48 PM): omfg
M (10:52:04 PM): this is going right over your head and its such a simple concept
ryanhoward1pro (10:52:13 PM): give me a decent answer if you believe it
ryanhoward1pro (10:52:18 PM): No it's not
M (10:52:54 PM): a·the·ist // a person who denies or disbelieves the existence of a supreme being or beings.
ryanhoward1pro (10:53:17 PM): A Christian doesn't
M (10:53:42 PM): yes they deny the existence of all other supreme beings except for god
ryanhoward1pro (10:54:20 PM): all other, but they still believe in one.
M (10:55:06 PM): but it still fits the description
M (10:55:29 PM): it doesn’t say all supreme beings just a supreme being or beings
ryanhoward1pro (10:55:38 PM): ok whatever
ryanhoward1pro (10:56:21 PM): so do you do this because you believe, or is it because you are SO AGAINST conforming
ryanhoward1pro (10:57:02 PM): *believed it*
ryanhoward1pro (10:57:27 PM): dang it........ *believe it*
M (10:57:29 PM): I’m not against conforming I'm just for raising questions that challenge others beliefs
ryanhoward1pro (10:57:45 PM): For what reason?
M (10:57:49 PM): because it will either weaken or strengthen their belief
M (10:58:02 PM): both being beneficial
ryanhoward1pro (10:58:24 PM): So what do YOU
ryanhoward1pro (10:58:28 PM): believe
M (10:59:17 PM): That god as Christians view him doesn’t exist
ryanhoward1pro (11:00:01 PM): and what evidence do you have for that?
M (11:00:43 PM): what evidence do u have for Christianity
ryanhoward1pro (11:00:50 PM): I see it all around me
(At this point I was checking my email quickly, and he decided to leave)
M (11:01:03 PM): tell me
M (11:01:50 PM): ok w/e
M (11:01:51 PM): bye


Lord,use me to point him to you. Change his heart. MAKE HIM believe

Slurpees, and Paint!

Last night was very succesful. I did some thinking about my "place" in what Cornerstone is doing. It was a great time to spend some time with people from Cornerstone, and get some work done on the WVPC office. Oh, and the slushies were quite tasty!!!! YUMMY!!! :P

Doing some thinking.

I'm sitting here in the Emmaus triangle, waiting until 8 to help a few guys work on the West Valley PC church office. Oh how I love technology. I can sit here looking at Mas Café and watch traffic pass bye, and blog on my phone!

I'm excited to see a few of the people I know from Cornerstone and get a chance to do some work for the office.

I'm going to spend a lot of time thinking tonight as well. Thinking about things like 'Is the church plant where I am called to be' and 'what are the reasons to stay with Cornerstone', 'What are the reasons to go with the church plant'

In a way, I already THINK I know what I am going to do and what I should do, but I've tried to keep my eyes open to go where I have been called and where I am needed.


Do I stay with my 'community' at Cornerstone? Do I go with the church plant and be a part of something special and life changing in Emmaus?



I'm still thinking and praying about this!


If you read this, pray that everyone arrives safely tonight and that we can use our time effectively. Also pray that our speech and actions will be pleasing to HIM, the one who ALREADY knows all things, including all the things I pray to know.


Open my eyes, in your timing.

Something about a Midnight snack.

I am sitting here right now eating Pizza, my midnight snack, or pretty close to midnight snack. Theres something about food late in the night that makes me say 'I really NEED food right now'. 10 minutes, and 3 slices of Pizza later, I feel gross and could throw up....wishing I would have never believed yet another lie, 'you NEED this food and it will make you FEEL better'

Ugh, instead I feel gross.

Some catching up to do...

I need to do some catching up. It has been 10 days since my last post, after going months of posting almost every day. I'm not really sure what happened , but here are a few explanations for my absence.


1. I have been busy trying to finish school (thanks to the provoking of a good friend, and a good mother)

2. My computer broke. Yeah my stupid computer doesn't want to turn on. That kinda sucks.

3. I lost the 'desire' to blog. Not sure why, but I did.


So here's a catch up. I feel like the past 10 and next 10-20 days will change a lot. I'm at a point of make or break, and I'm about to break. I need to get this school done and get a transcript to Desales. That will help me determine my plans for the fall. I also am waiting to hear back from Sleepy's (yes still waiting after 10 days) Basically it has come to a point where I can only work Saturdays and Sundays with my current position...so I need to figure out what is going on. I hate working sundays but I have to tomorrow. The most hours from Sunday and Saturday I can get in one week is 19...so that's not gonna work out for me...especially since I am about to buy a new car (which is a discussion for another day....a soon day...not 10 days from now).


Nathanelle, I miss ya buddy! (also a discussion for another day.)

See you readers tomorrow!

2 strikes...

Applied for 2 in store position with Sleepy's over the past 2 months.
Didn't get either.
Today I had an interview for a 3rd.
I don't want to strike out.
I sure hope I get this job...
I am more confident this time than the two times before, but still very unsure as to what will happen.

My prayer is that God's will be done, even if it means I don't get the job and I strike out.

:/

Let me say this!

Hopefully I won't get in trouble, somehow I know I will.

But...I just have to say this.

Going really really fast around a corner and having the back of the car you are in slide is really really really cool.

Totally cool
I'll try to be more responsible next time.
Promise :P


but it was fun!

I did it!

Yes, I finally I did it.
Tonight I called two friends from Cornerstone/C3.
I did both for different reasons, but both needed to be done.
Tomorrow another call will be made.
If I want my community back, I need to keep in touch with my friends whom I trust, whether it be for 3 minutes or 30, whether its just to quickly to see how there week is going, to show transparency in my life, or to get their help or advice.

The point is, I finally made 2 of those calls tonight, and another will be made tomorrow. (I meant to call tonight but it got too late)

If I want a friend, I need to be a friend.

I'm so thankful for the good friends God has brought into my life. :)

Vacation so far!

Here are some pictures from the vacation so far! It has been a blast!

<---I was very excited to see one of these!!!!

<---One of my favorite pictures that I have taken. In Flight.































<-----The Little Brother. :) Very happy to be on vacation, just like me!

Vacation!!!

Today, I leave for vacation!
I am SOO excited!
7 days to "chill"
7 days without work!!!
7 days of sand in my pants and shoes
7 days of relaxation
and (hopefully)
7 days to appreciate all the things in my life and
7 days to enjoy the Beautiful things the Lord has created!!

I'll Pray for you

I'll pray for you.

Four words that give me hope, and yet I hate them.
It's great to have a church family carring and knowing about me, but SO many people (including myself) say we will pray, but never do.

I can't remember how many times I have gotten the prayer marker at Cornerstone, all to shove it in my bible and not look at it all week! It's too many times, and I am ashamed of myself.

What a disgrace, to promise to lift my family up and prayer, and yet not take a few minutes to do so.

So, I won't say I'm going to pray for them. Instead, I will SHOW that I care, by actually praying and continue to ask them how things are going.

Friends, please do the same for me.
Don't tell me your going to pray for me all to forget. Be there for me, challange me, stay in touch with me, AND pray for me. I can't do this on my own.

Another interesting quote from Lost.

I love Lost, I really do. As I was flying through Season 1 and came upon Episode 20:Do no harm, I heard this quote said by Jack to his father in a flashback which made me think.

What If I can't be the husband or the father I want to be?

Isn't that what ever guy is afraid of? Ok maybe not, I don't know. Actually, what I fear isn't about me and could be better said like this,

What if I can' be the husband or the father God wants me to be?

I'm not sure why, but that really scares me.. What if I will never be good enough? I worry to much, especially about events that are most likely many years away in my life, and I have no control over.

I BLAME you

For everyone who cares... (every time I say that...I just KNOW that no one cares) but for the crazy lunatics that do care...I am ADDICTED to Lost. It's almost like a disease or a drug...but I am flying through Season one at a super fast pace. I should have season one finished by Thursday or Friday of this week. From there, I will pick up Season two and possibly Season three next week while on vacation!

Yes everyone, I am on board with the Lost phenomenon.

I could spend hundreds of blog post asking questions, but what fun is that, and how would I have use for www.lostpedia.com if you all answered my questions? :P

I got it!

I think I understand part of what has led me to believe I have "lost community" at Cornerstone.

I don't know people the way they know me. I feel like there are people that now everything about me that I really don't know anymore.

That's OK! I don't need to know everything. I'm glad I can at least understand what is going on in my head. I will get some of that community back Saturday Night. FINALLY, C3 is meeting this Saturday night. I'm excited :)

I blame the church.

This post has sat as a Draft since April 15th, because I didn't know IF I should say it, or how to say it properly. Yet, it needs to be said, so I will say it.

Maybe I shouldn't say this, but it has been on my heart lately and I feel that it needs to be said.

I BLAME the church for the problems our youth are having. The "church" can be described as many things. In this context, I blame everyone. I blame church pastors,elders, and deacons. I blame parents of these kids, and I blame myself, for not showing a better example.
I feel like kids are the one group at church that can't talk about their problems. I have had a discussion with 3 or 4 people about what I can and what I can't discuss with youth when it comes to struggles. I sometimes feel they don't understand what the college kids or adult go through. If the Sexual Brokenness taught me anything, it was that these kids DO STRUGGLE WITH THIS STUFF, sometimes more than the rest of us. They struggle with the pornography, the checking out of the girls at school and everything else. The only thing that is different than an adult/college kid and a high schooler, is I know others who struggle with it who I can talk to about it. THESE KIDS don't have that!! Instead they just get slapped on the wrist or have their computer privileges taken away, or are not allowed to hang out with certain friends,ect. I was told to not share personal struggles with some of the high schoolers, yet when they asked me if I struggled with something, I was honest with them. For these kids, there is no healing, just guilt and the feeling of being the ONLY KID who deals with this. I blame this on the church, not any specific church, but rather the ENTIRE church body.

Maybe the church doesn't know how to deal with it? I don't know, but I have seen BROKEN kids who feel hopeless because the church has not stepped up and said "Hey kids, we know what you are going through. Seek a close friend to keep you accountable. Seek out your parents, no matter how awkward. Seek out another adult or older friend that you can talk to. If you can't find anyone to talk to, come to a leader in the church" Instead the church is speechless. Maybe they feel that they lack a way to deal with the epidemic. Maybe the don't WANT to deal with it?


If I know anything,it is this.
They NEED to learn to deal with it,because there are a ton of kids who need someone to talk to, to tell them it's ok to cry, to help them find the forgiveness that is found in Christ.

Why I'm upset

Here's why : There are a handful of people who TRULY know me at Cornerstone, and most of them have not talked to me in over 2 weeks. Maybe part of it is my fault. I don't call during the week, but mostly because I feel like people are too busy to want to take that time to talk. I really have no desire to be around right now. I know that I want to be at Cornerstone, I mean I'm contemplating joining the church because of the "community", but recently, the people who know John inside and out, for the most part haven't talk to me, haven't been around, and it really upsets me. Maybe it's that there hasn't been C3 for a while,maybe I've been "distant", and maybe now that it is summer, all those things will change. I said it already 2 weeks ago and things are still the same. I just wish I would have that closeness back with the few people that really know me. Its frustrating, but I also realize maybe its a good thing.

Whoever cannot be alone should beware of community...[and] whoever cannot stand being in community should beware of being alone.

This Brought Tears to my Eyes!

I'm a HUGE Spurs fan, and would never want to show supports for a team that my Spurs are playing, but I just HAD to share this!
I can't help but cry, I just cant.
Read this story and you will cry your eyes out like I did!

Chris Paul will honor a boy whose wish to see the Hornets went unfulfilled

Cancer victim tribute afoot

Thursday, May 08, 2008

By Katy Reckdahl Staff writer

Before tonight's playoff game, New Orleans Hornets superstar point guard Chris Paul will write the name "Brian" on his shoes, paying tribute to an 8-year-old fan who died Monday night before he could meet his basketball hero.

Brian, who had cancer, wore his Chris Paul jersey nonstop, said Michael McMyne, president of A Child's Wish of Greater New Orleans, an all-volunteer nonprofit that helps fulfill the wishes of about 100 critically ill Louisiana children each year. McMyne asked that Brian's last name not be used to respect the privacy of the grieving family.

Brian's wish was simple: He wanted to go to a Hornets game.

So McMyne got him tickets to Monday night's playoff game against the San Antonio Spurs.

But at the last minute, a friend of Brian's family called to cancel. The boy had been rushed to the hospital with a high fever, she said. He died hours later.

In his final weeks, Brian told his family that he knew he was going to heaven and that he wanted to meet Jesus wearing his Chris Paul jersey.

Someone within the Hornets organization sent around an e-mail telling Brian's story. It caught the eye of Paul and Hornets owner George Shinn. Both cried.

"It was very touching to me. Tears welled up in my eyes," said Shinn, who sent flowers and a letter to the family and offered to help with funeral costs. The family, overwhelmed with grief, was touched by his kindness but declined. The location and time of the funeral also are private.

Shinn and his wife hoped to attend the funeral with Paul and his parents. But the team will be on road at the time, so that isn't possible, Shinn said. The family plans to bury Brian in his favorite jersey, as he requested.

Footwear tributes aren't new, Shinn said. But usually the name is directly connected to the player. His mother. A family member. A favorite coach. "The NBA allows you to do that, to honor that person," Shinn said.

Shinn has never before seen a player write a fan's name on his footwear, "particularly a fan that the player hadn't even met," he said.

The tribute is "above and beyond imagination," McMyne said. "This genuinely heartfelt response by Chris Paul made this delicate family feel fortunate as they grieve their angel."

What have I done to deserve all the blessings in my life?? I have SO much, and yet I take it for granted and act like I don't have "enough"! Why do I FAIL to appreciate all the blessings in my life! The following is all I can think about when I read this:

I live my day to day as if I have ALL the time in the world for things that are important! I fail to see the big picture. I think I am invincible, when really, it could all be taken AWAY from me any day. Lord, teach me to take nothing for granted. Teach me to live my life for you,not for myself. Teach me to come to you as a child, helpless,weak,and hopeless without you.

Frisbee brings a renewed rivalry

On Sunday, I played Frisbee with about 15 people. Most of them attended Cornerstone or were friends of people who went to Cornerstone whom I had met before. I decided to invite my buddy Alan from Desales. I hadn't seen him for a few months, and he loved sports so I figured it would be fun. While at Desales, although we were friends, I always felt a rivalry between the two of is. I was jealous of him for EVERYTHING. He had good looks, a girlfriend, a 4.0 (and he barely studied), and the athletic ability that I desired more than anything else, oh and he had the Faith that I didn't . The rivalry died down a bit because I could just never live up to his standards. On Sunday, I realized just how much I envied him. As he was running around the field on EVERY play, I was struggling to just not pass out. What use to be a rivalry that drove me to quit, has now become something that has made me try even HARDER. When I saw him start to run around making amazing plays on every play, it made me step up my game a bit and play at 150%. I still wasn't the player he was, but I definitely stepped up my game to where he made me a better player on the field. I felt like I had to work THAT much harder whether it was running as fast as I could all time, or laying out for a diving catch just to get people to pay attention to my game, and not to his.
I played my heart out, and left it all on the field, so I'm proud of myself for what I accomplished.
I gave it my best, which is as much as I can give.

You said "please"

Yesterday, I went to Wendy's for some food while I was working. Yes I already know that I shouldn't be eating at Wendy's, but hey, I was starving, and it was cheap and quick. So anyway...once I pulled up to get my food, the sweet old lady asked if I wanted some ketchup, to which I responded, "Yes Please". She then said something that really shocked me, "You said please". I responded with "Doesn't everyone?" and we had a little chat in which she stated I was a really good kid and how my parents must have raised me right...

Anyway... I just have to wonder where the kindness has gone? I can't believe people are so rude that they are not willing to say please and thank you. Our country has become such a "me-first" society. It really makes me sick

Maybe I am hopeless...or maybe I'm far from it?

It's Tuesday and nothing has changed :/


And yet...I make mistakes. If there's anything I have learned over the past year or so, it's that I WILL always have struggles. They will be there no matter how hard I try to avoid them, so the question is what will I do with those struggles?

I can't change things so far...but today, I will give God the time of my day he deserves.