a different weak,a different man.

I often feel like the title of this post accurately describes how I feel.

I go from week to week, and nothing ever changes in my life.
My 7 days of 24 hours are not weeks, they are weaks. I sometimes say to myself in the later half of a certain week, "Hey this week hasn't been bad. I haven't done this, but then, there's other issues going on, or if not, the same struggles are back just days later.

I find myself between a rock and a hard place wondering

Who am I.. am I the person who's heart cries out for the youth of this generation, who has a desire to help those in need, and who loves seeing the look on a child's face in a Sunday school class when they begin to understand the gospel (sometimes hard with the younger kids). Or....am I the person who longs to make myself happy, lives for myself, and often sins while not caring about the consequences or effects on others

I know that the real desire in me is the first scenario, but am I living like that?

So, that's why I often feel like my days are just one struggle after another.



Sunday night after the WVPCA Church Plant Meeting I drove home thinking the following:
Unless you begin to cling to Christ for everything you need, you are truly hopeless. How can you believe that you will soon (if you stay) be able to live by yourself, when you can't be responsible, truthful, and live for God.


So that's why I say 'A different weak, a different man', though now, it's no longer a weak but rather a true week. Unfortunately,I can't change what I have done and how I have sinned or struggled 3 weeks ago, 1 week ago, yesterday or whatever.

I can only worry about how I am living today, and I need to live my life for him, to become a different man, to show everyone around me through what I say and what I do, that my life is different, and I'm not longer living for myself... I'm (by his grace) living for him, no matter what the cost.

So I can only worry about today.
I don't think it is all that complex. It start with the simple stuff like skipping the 'rap' playlist on my iPod and opting for the 'Worship' playlist (Believe it or not, the words you hear do change what you think about and desire, as I have recently experienced it firsthand). Another simple step is just reading my bible everyday!

So simple, but it's often so hard to follow through.

It's a different weEk. So, now is the time to be a different man (the man I have been created to be).


More often then not, I will fail, but through his spirit inside me, there WILL be a change!


So now the daily question becomes.

Am I living for Christ today?