When the Tears fall

There's something about crying that leaves me feeling the renewal. WHAT!!!? Renewal? I can here my readers "No John it brings sadness. " Ah but how untrue...sorta. I would love to say I never cry, because Grown Men Don't Cry, right? But in all reality, for a guy, I cry A LOT, and maybe Grown Men do cry? Tim McGraw certainly thinks they do. Crying is even seen from "the legend", Brett Favre.



For those of you who haven't known me for longer than 5 years (which is most of my readers), crying was something I NEVER did. I grew up and always kept mine to myself. I never cried, I never said I was upset, but I held back my tears and it made me sick. I kept my feelings to myself because I felt that it would be wrong for me to discuss my feelings or to cry. Times have certainly changed. I am open about my thoughts and feelings now, and many of you have seen me cry. I spent a good amount of time on Wednesday night and most of yesterday morning crying. I cry when I see no hope and the filthiness of my life the way it is now.
THAT'S when the renewal comes in. Crying leaves me feeling the need to seek advice, as well as repentance. Then I send those emails, make those calls, and here the Gospel all over again in my life. So while crying stems from sin, being upset, feeling guilty, it leads to renewal and healing. It leads to longing to NOT have those issues which bring those tears. So, I will NOT hold back the tears, I will let them fall. Crying gives me that desire to be more like Christ in my life. It gives me hope and forgiveness, but also the desire to work things out