Monday, March 23, 2009

(IS IT) well with my soul?

Ah. What a great song.
"It is well with my soul".

Always one of my favorites and so re-assuring. But in this moment...I question it.



My aunt has played this song the last to nights on the piano as I was falling asleep. Both nights I found it hard to not cry. Last night I just broke down.

I can say I'm ready for her to go to 'be in a better place', but really I find it rather uneasy that she will not be here anymore. I find it hard to believe I could wake up tomorrow and she would be gone.

I told myself I would be fine and ok with her dying, but wanted to be here to support the rest of my family.

I was wrong. I'm not ok. I'm not ready for this, and right now, honestly nothing feels well within my soul.

The peace I thought I had, isn't really there. The strength I though I had to hold back the tears is gone.

Right now I am not at peace.

Maybe I just need a good night's sleep

1 comment:

Kara said...

It might not be well with your soul for awhile. But someday it will be. Death isn't easy no matter how much you try to prepare yourself for it.