Finally back.

I'm finally home. It was good to be with my family. It was good to see granny before she died. It was great to see my cousins and Aunts and Uncles. It was so sad to go. I spent the weekend becoming closer to them and getting to know all of my family better.

It was really hard to leave. Part of me never wanted to go, the rest of me knew I had no choice. I've lost 3 weeks of work which means I'm uh...broke. I've lost 2 weeks of school so now I am way behind in school.

Hmmm. I've already had to ask for extensions for work to be done in 2 classes. That really stinks because then it pushes everything back as well.

Welcome back to life John. Enjoy being so busy that you don't know how to function for rest of the week.

Some encouraging words from Job.

I, for my part, know that my Redeemer lives
that He, at last, will rise on the earth.
After I wake up, he will make me stand next to Him,
and, in my flesh, I shall see God.
The One I shall see shall be for me,
the One I shall look upon will not be a stranger.

Job 19:25-27


And Angie Waggoner knew that and lived it. And she is standing next to him. She has seen him and he knows her. He has given her an eternal home in Heaven.

Well Done.

The time has finally passed.

My grandmother is gone. Thank you granny for everything.
Thank you for living your life for Jesus.
Thank you for living your life to teach your 4 children and 15 grandchildren about the love of Christ and about right and wrong.
Thank you for being a shining example to the world of God's love and plan for those he calls.

Yesterday I heard a story of a time when you were in the hospital and very sick. You were on lots of medication which had you 'out of it', but when a nurse swore using the name of Jesus, you said Please don't insult the name of Jesus. He is the one in whom all my hope lies.

Angie Elizabeth Waggoner, I love that story because that wasn't a show. That was who you were inside and out.

I can only hope to live life the way you lived it, knowing God was guiding all your steps.

I praise the Lord that at around 1:30 this morning, you heard the words

Matthew 25:²¹"His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!'

Still here

Still with my grandmother. Wow she sure is a fighter. We were told she would be gone within 48 hours of Wednesday morning, but she is still here. At this point, it looks like I am leaving at some point this weekend. Right now it looks like it is going to be Sunday. I really need to get back to work and school. I have already missed 3 weeks of work and a whole week of school and can't afford to miss any more of either.
Gran's breathing is becoming more shallow, and some here don't expect her to survive the night, but that's been said for a few days, so I don't know what to expect anymore.
At least I feel at peace (seriously this time) and believe that God's plan will be met whether she dies tonight, tomorrow, or some other time in the future.


Jeremiah 17:14
Heal me, O Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved; for you are the one I praise.

(IS IT) well with my soul?

Ah. What a great song.
"It is well with my soul".

Always one of my favorites and so re-assuring. But in this moment...I question it.



My aunt has played this song the last to nights on the piano as I was falling asleep. Both nights I found it hard to not cry. Last night I just broke down.

I can say I'm ready for her to go to 'be in a better place', but really I find it rather uneasy that she will not be here anymore. I find it hard to believe I could wake up tomorrow and she would be gone.

I told myself I would be fine and ok with her dying, but wanted to be here to support the rest of my family.

I was wrong. I'm not ok. I'm not ready for this, and right now, honestly nothing feels well within my soul.

The peace I thought I had, isn't really there. The strength I though I had to hold back the tears is gone.

Right now I am not at peace.

Maybe I just need a good night's sleep

The time draws near

It's coming, and soon. She's headed home.

It's so hard to know that everything you do could be your last with your grandmother alive. She always was a fighter who never gave up. She's had cancer for years, but never did she complain about it or blame God or any of us. She took her lot in life, and trusted in him for everything.

I heard she was 'with it' and recognizing people earlier today, and ran downstairs to her bed thinking 'what if this is the last time she recognizes me'.

I ran up to get my camera wondering if this will be the last time I go up these stairs while she is alive.

Thankfully though, this is not her home, and this pain she feels, and the sadness all of us here feel will not last.

Getting ready to say goodbye...

It's so hard to let those close to you go,especially those that have never let anything stop them from living life to its fullest.

My grandmother is very sick and has been given only a few days to live. She has had cancer for years, and it has reached her brain and the rest of her body. She was told by doctors months ago that they couldn't do anything else for her, but we didn't know she would go this quick until she took a turn for the worst late Wednesday night. I left early Thursday morning to come down here because I was told she only had a few days to live. All of her vitals are dropping, and I've come to grips with the fact that at this time next week,or even in a couple days, she will be gone.

Part of me just wants to cry, and I've done alot of it. I don't want to see her go. I don't want to see my mom,Aunts,and Uncle have to deal with losing their mother.

YET, The other part of me is ready to see it and would like God to take her sooner rather than later. She is confident in where she is going, and lived her life in that manner. I don't want to see her in pain anymore. This is the part that often hides itself.

In times like this, its hard to believe that God has an eternal plan bigger than me, or my grandmother Angie Waggoner,or any of the people here this weekend.