None of you have seen my writings lately because I haven't written anything. I've intended to write for weeks and weeks about what God is doing in my life, but I just never had the motivation. It's not that I have nothing to say.... it's just that I didn't feel like saying it.
Recently I have been stressing through my lack of having a job, my struggle to not know my plans for the fall, lack of money to pay my bills, and everything in between. I strive to believe the biblical truths I KNOW and am even teaching kids (more on that in another post), but recently it's just been so hard to believe.
UNTIL NOW. It has been turning around, and I hope it continues too.
I'm blogging now because today I had a MOMENT. A Sobering moment.
I haven't slept all night because recently I have been not able to sleep. I think I'm struggling for some type of insomnia at the present time. I never can sleep and when I do it is falling asleep at like 3 am and waking up at 10 AM. Hopefully that ends soon, but who knows.
As I stayed awake, I pursued doing some studying for my internship (again more on that later).
and this was my SOBER moment.
It's like....when you get really really drunk, and then somehow you sober up in an instance.
I decided at 4:45 as the sun was rising that I was going to stand outside on my back deck and read through 1 Peter (my book of the bible for my bible study this week).
There was nothing. No music, no iPhone, no struggles. Just me, my bible, a wonderful book to read through!, and a wonderful view of the sun rising.
I felt a sobering affect about this time alone with God, and that was before reading the phrase 'sober/united/humble minded' 3 seperate times (1:13,3:8,5:8)
Suddenly everything I think I'm going through, the binge drinking on this world and all it offers is not so excited.... suddenly nothing matters... Suddenly everything I valued, thought was important, even WORSHIPED...
The technology, the nice phone, the new car, the wonderful job, the cash to buy what I want, the friends who I used for my benefit and thought I deserved, the relationship I wanted, the selfishness of wanting to look good and be seen as someone important to those around me.
Suddenly none of it matters.... and that my dear friends, is so sobering to me. Somehow after standing there reading all through 1 Peter, I am fine! I am blessed. I still don't have the money, or the job, or the things I want... and actually, I'm thankful I don't...because it reminds me that what I REALLY WANT, and REALLY desire, I ALREADY HAVE through Christ!
Here's my prayer.
That I remember that.
That it becomes my daily desire to be SOBERED by the Gospel, and begins to transform my heart.
