Ah helllo friends.
Here I sit with time to blog. Why, well I don't know. Because I'm an idiot who doesn't sleep and it is 4 AM. I do try to sleep seriously. It just never happens. I'm a crazy lunatic.
It's been so long since I blogged...and oh how my life has changed, some public, much very private....but life has sure changed.
I guess I'm changing too. and my definition of change is also changing I guess. I'm not really sure exactly what that means....but it's happening.
I'm in a tough spot in a lot of ways. Those close enough to know the intimate workings of my life know about this stuff. The others just need to ask and I'm more than willing to talk.
I kinda feel like I have life under control and am in a good spot, while also feeling like I have no control and is my life is one downwardly spiraling mess. Is that proper English? I doubt it.
Anyway....
Rarely do I show emotion. Tonight I did. I cried. It felt like crap....while also feeling so wonderful.
There comes a point where you can only take so much hurt and pain before you break down. and when it comes from the people who you trust to support,encourage, and help you...it sucks.
But anyway. I'm learning a lot, growing a lot, and learning what true learning and growing even means.
I guess I'm in some twilight zone vortex just trying to regain my footing. I hope to catch it soon. Until then I look for footholds, pray for encouragement and good influences, and trust in the one that knows it all and has it all planned out.
Come along, continue to take this journey by following my blog.
I promise to make it more active now.
Seriously though this time :P
