Once Again, Here's My Life

Need You

2012-01-10T00:59:00.002-05:00

A sobering reality

2010-07-18T06:04:00.002-04:00

Welcome back friends. Welcome back to my life. Welcome to my world. WELCOME to my SOBERing Reality.

None of you have seen my writings lately because I haven't written anything. I've intended to write for weeks and weeks about what God is doing in my life, but I just never had the motivation. It's not that I have nothing to say.... it's just that I didn't feel like saying it.

Recently I have been stressing through my lack of having a job, my struggle to not know my plans for the fall, lack of money to pay my bills, and everything in between. I strive to believe the biblical truths I KNOW and am even teaching kids (more on that in another post), but recently it's just been so hard to believe.

UNTIL NOW. It has been turning around, and I hope it continues too.

I'm blogging now because today I had a MOMENT. A Sobering moment.

I haven't slept all night because recently I have been not able to sleep. I think I'm struggling for some type of insomnia at the present time. I never can sleep and when I do it is falling asleep at like 3 am and waking up at 10 AM. Hopefully that ends soon, but who knows.

As I stayed awake, I pursued doing some studying for my internship (again more on that later).

and this was my SOBER moment.
It's like....when you get really really drunk, and then somehow you sober up in an instance.

I decided at 4:45 as the sun was rising that I was going to stand outside on my back deck and read through 1 Peter (my book of the bible for my bible study this week).

There was nothing. No music, no iPhone, no struggles. Just me, my bible, a wonderful book to read through!, and a wonderful view of the sun rising.

I felt a sobering affect about this time alone with God, and that was before reading the phrase 'sober/united/humble minded' 3 seperate times (1:13,3:8,5:8)

Suddenly everything I think I'm going through, the binge drinking on this world and all it offers is not so excited.... suddenly nothing matters... Suddenly everything I valued, thought was important, even WORSHIPED...

The technology, the nice phone, the new car, the wonderful job, the cash to buy what I want, the friends who I used for my benefit and thought I deserved, the relationship I wanted, the selfishness of wanting to look good and be seen as someone important to those around me.

Suddenly none of it matters.... and that my dear friends, is so sobering to me. Somehow after standing there reading all through 1 Peter, I am fine! I am blessed. I still don't have the money, or the job, or the things I want... and actually, I'm thankful I don't...because it reminds me that what I REALLY WANT, and REALLY desire, I ALREADY HAVE through Christ!

Here's my prayer.
That I remember that.
That it becomes my daily desire to be SOBERED by the Gospel, and begins to transform my heart.

No really, I'm back

2010-06-03T23:27:00.000-04:00

I'm such a horrible blogger, dangit. ANyway. I think I have a good excuse. I spent from Friday night-Monday night in Pittsburgh. Tuesday and Wednesday I did job applications and photo editing ALL DAY...and today....well today I slept all day... hahaha

Anyway. Pittsburgh was simply amazing, just as San Diego a week before.

Pittsburgh was beautiful for much different reasons though. I learned what being a Christian was like. I learned what a crappy one I am. Sorta. I mean... I understand the gospel in a way now that I didn't before. And I didn't necessarily learn anything new, or something that was like mind blowing, but I learned new things about Jesus and about what being a Christian looks like, and what sin looks like....

And it helped me learn a lot about what Ministry looks like, what leadership looks like, and ESPECIALLY what Youth Ministry in the place the Lord has placed me at this point on this journey he has given me called LIFE looks like. It helped me better understand how I am called to do this leadership for the Lord and SHOULD become a better leader in the position I have been given with the youth at my church that God has called me to work with.

But hey, I can't tell you everything now! So check back soon. I'm gonna try to stop by more often and be more consistent.
I promise. :-)

Guess who is back!!!

2010-05-27T04:47:00.002-04:00

Welll.....I think I'm back. I've said I was 'back' hundreds of times and rarely have I actually stuck around. So I guess we shall see. But most of the reasons I never stuck around before was because I never felt like I really had anything worth writing about on a consistent basis. I think that will change now. For one, I have a lot more time on my hands, which I will get into sometime soon for those of you that don't know why. Secondly, due to my work with the youth at my church, I have been more involved in studying the bible, and learning a lot from that. It's led to a lot of thinking and studying and note taking, but ever blogging. Well I always have enjoyed making my thoughts public, because I hope that people will learn from what I write and be encouraged in the gospel through it. So for that, I'm back and hopefully I will be consistent and worth the read for ya.

If not...there's tons of other blogs out there, and many with much more to get out of them and more wisdom than mine. But I sure hope you will stick around and I can encourage you and you can do the same for me.

Until the next time

-J

Intententional prayers for those I love.

2010-01-26T23:12:00.001-05:00

Rarely do I cry out for something not related to myself. But tonight, for some crazy reason I cannot explain, that's all different. Tonight I'm crying out for those I love, my friends, because many of them are hurting right now, in very different, but very specific situations. Tonight I am actually literally crying for them. I sense the brokenness, I sense the hurt, and in some ways I feel their pain, in other ways. I do not feel their pain, but my heart breaks for them, and cries out tonight for them.

Don't get me wrong, the situations are very different, in very different ways, but I hurt and I cry out for them regardless. One friend had a grandmother who just passed away. My heart breaks for her and longs to see her somehow someway be able to emotionally recover from the death of someone so close to her.

Another friend is having a bad relationship with her husband, and that relationship is falling apart. I long to see that relationship restored, though I don't know how that plays out or how it happens.

And other friends are hurting in different ways but I also cry out for them. Many are praying that God will reveal his will to them, and that's hard to understand and hard to see and hard to know, and I know this all too well because I am right there with them.
My heart cries that God will intentionally and assuredly show them his will.
Many of my friends are struggling with where to go in life, whether it means a certain school or certain vocation, or what relationship to pursue, and I pray that God will reveal those decisions and those paths to them and He will make it clear to them to know which way to go.
So God, I can only do what I know to do, just come to you, bring my friends to you, lift them up to you, and TRUST that you have their life already planned out and full known and have for a long long time.
Please make your will revealed to them, and please restore these broken relationships all around me, and heal broken hearts from death of loved ones, as you're the only one that can heal the brokeness inside us. Please help all of us know what plan you have for us and pursue it with everything within us.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

The faithlessness

2010-01-19T20:01:00.001-05:00

More or less, I'm happy with my life. But sometimes, I am just so frustrated and so unsure about where I'm going that it bothers me. Sometimes, I even find myself depressed, even if it's for a very short period of time. Somehow the last 48 hours I've been in that time. It's hard for me to be depressed because of the faith and the biblical promises I stand on and live my life around.

When things go wrong, for the most part I have a faith that lets me get through it. I know that God has everything in control and for the most part I trust him with that. Yet sometimes, I still am just utterly depressed. I don't know what it is and sometimes I don't know why but I just know that at times I question that plan and I wonder and come up with no answer about why things go the way they do sometimes. It bothers me to be depressed, because it feels like I'm not truly standing on the solid ground, but sometimes I just feel like this. I know it won't last forever, I know it's just temporary, and I do know that God has everything under control. What I don't understand is why I don't always trust that.

For years, I had just assumed when I was depressed that my faith was not real. Maybe I wasn't real? That's what I told myself. Instead, what I have learned is not that my faith is not real, but that maybe my faith is not as strong as it should be. I have also realized, that we all go through hard times, and we all struggle, and that we all just have times where we just want to give up.
Through these realizations, I have learned to truly keep my faith in the Lord, and trust him. That is so hard to say even now as I am struggling and so upset. What I learned though, is that the Lord is always faithful. He does provide a perfect plan, and that plan is so much better than I could ever imagine it could be. I will still have depressing times, I will still have hard times, but I still have to stand strong on that foundation that I have built up and the God that has never ever failed me. With that I can truly live a God honoring and God serving life, even through the hard times, the struggles, and the brokeness inside me.

As I begin to remember these truths, the hurt is not so relevant anymore, and that means progress, even the slightest bit, is happening.

Cries for Haiti

2010-01-15T19:57:00.000-05:00

I've lived through plenty of catstrophes in my life, from 9/11...to Katrina... To tsunamis and terrorist attacks... But never have I lived through one that effected my emotions to the point where I cried, literally. But this earthquake in Haiti has changed all of that. Maybe part of it is growing up, maybe part of it is becoming a Christian who hurts when other people hurt, maybe it's because I know that hundreds of thousands of people that never knew Jesus as their savior are now gone, and the though of where that brings them makes me sick. I can't pinpoint it dirrectly, but I know that as I think about this, or here something or watch something on the news, I just start to literally cry and it just breaks my heart. It's emotionally draining to see the death toll rise. I have spent most of the last 48 hours crying out and wondering 'God, why would you allow this'? Yet I get no answer.

Maybe my heart has changed to be less about me and more about others. I would love nothing more right now then to go. To leave my jobs and everything I have here and just go to Haiti and spend all of my time and effort doing everything and anything to help these people. It is honestly the one desire of my heart right now, and of I could find a way to afford it, I would already be gone. The only problem is that I can't afford to leave and need to work to pay my bills. Ah welcome to life. But the desire of my heart is to be there and hopefully I can go and help with relief efforts at some point in the future. Until then I pray, and I cry for hope, I cry for a nation, and I cry that God does a work in a place that knows not of him.

I have for months prayed for a HEART that breaks over the things that break God's own heart. I can only imagine how his heart must be breaking as I realize that he is answering that prayer and truly giving me a heart that has just begun to break for the hurt, pain, and suffering I witness.

8 Weeks: Time for Growing Up

2010-01-14T00:06:00.001-05:00

In just 8 Weeks.

Time has come.

Time to blog, time to learn, time to grow, time to live a faith that I claim my life is all about.

It's all come, in a way thrust upon me with no planning beforehand.

Ah how quick life changes. One day you have it all, the next you find yourself not having a move, a plan, or any financial backbone to get anywhere.

8 Weeks ago today I began a new journey that I didn't expect, didn't plan for and didn't really even want.

I will keep all the details away from this post and any other blog post for a bunch of different reasons, all of which stem from my goal to keep specific personal issues just that.

With that said, 8 weeks ago I left my dads house. I had no plan, no money, ect. (read above).

What I thought was a journey to survive.... has instead turned into a journey to GROWING up, BECOMING a real man, and LIVING a life fitting of serving my Savior Jesus Christ.

Let me point out that I AM NOT THERE. I will not be THERE anytime soon. I don't expect that. What I do expect is to maintain those goals that keep me GROWING,BECOMING, and LIVING.

I don't know where this journey takes me, I have no clue.

Heck, I don't even know where I'm going to be living in 17 days, or working in 3 weeks (have an interview next week for a possible FT job that would mean giving up alot of hours at the 2 jobs I have now, or at least switching around some of those hours).

BUT!!!!! What I do know is that I serve a God and a Savior who is much bigger than John Schuchman. He's bigger than my insecurities, bigger than my fears of what the long term and even short term future holds. He's bigger than my working 60 hours and being physically spent from it. He is bigger than the many broken relationships I have. He's bigger than my immaturity, bigger than my 21 years of lack of living for Christ.

My God is BIGGER than everything.
HE knows what plan he has for me. It may not be what plan I have for myself.

He is molding me to the John that HE wants me to be.

He has used these 8 weeks that feel like a lifetime to work his purposes in my life. In these 8 weeks I have grown more in my faith, Love for Christ, passion for doing his will, and knowledge and maturity than I had in the last 21 Years and 5 Months COMBINED.

And yet, there is STILL TONS of work to be done, and I trust that he will continue to do that work as he has done for the past 8 weeks

And when it's all said and done, these 8 weeks that have Impacted and completely CHANGED my life, will be just a little blip on the screen to God, and that's completely incredible!

I am encouraged and excited for what the next 17 days, couple months, and even couple years bring and how I grow and mature as I see the fabulous plan he has for me play out!!! :-)

Genesis 50:20 You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

The burnout

2009-11-17T08:27:00.000-05:00

Sooo I'm back to blogging...

Or at least I think so. I hope so at least.

Life is in an interesting and different phase for me right now.... and I will get into that over this week I hope.

For now work consumes all my time.

I'm working a bunch of hours and it's becoming draining. Don't get me wrong, I'm very thankful and not complaining...but I'm fading and that's frustrating.

3 weeks ago I worked 44 hours at Gianotti's and then over the last 2 weeks I have worked over 90 hours between Red Robin and Gianotti's.

I was able to move my shift around at Gianotti's to benefit me both long and short term.

I had been working Monday to Saturday 4-10 (M-TH) and 4-11 (Fri,Sat) and it was killing me only having one day off, so for that reason and the fact that morning shifts get better money, I dropped my Monday and started working a double shift on Wednesdays (8-3,4-10). I just started it last week after asking for it for so long...and I'm thankful for it....but it wore me out...

After the day, I came home and crashed for 11 hours and still felt worn out the next day... but I keep pressing on. In fact, I believe I am about to get another double shift soon. My hope is to cut my Tuesday nights and do a double Wednesday, double Thursday, and then my normal shifts Friday and Saturday nights.

I guess things for me are starting to change in terms of what I focus on. Months ago I concentrated on fun and everything else but now, even with over 40 hours a week, I am still searching for more work. After all, I do have my mornings free and I'm not in school now so I might as well work as much as I can while I'm not.

Ah life continues.... hopefully the burnout ends soon though.

Why I make myself sick

2009-09-30T00:29:00.003-04:00

I'm sick of not being different. I'm sick of going with the crowd. I'm sick of being a good Christian on a Sunday morning and a pretty crappy one the rest of the time. I guess I can't get rid of the sick feeling from life being im-perfect, because I realize it's this way because of how grossly far from perfect I am? I guess where I'm at is a fine place.... I'm where God wants me, but I guess I've come to a point where I don't like being a fraud. A place of realizing that I can't put on a good show because God sees through it and those close to me know me enough to see differently. It's not that I don't know this stuff, but I often try to ignore it. I want to be a good Christian but I never feel like it. If I really trusted everything God has shown me, why so often I just want to get drunk and forget about life...instead of taking my troubles to God? I'm not saying I DO get drunk on these occasions, but if I'm honest about my desires, its what I really want. I want to get drunk and wake up and forget about all my problems.

But here's the universal, all consuming problem.... As my wise mother told me at about this time 3 years ago '

Changing your adress doesn't leave all your problems behind. They come with you

Oh to go back.... She told me that a few weeks before I went to Desales....and we all know how that experiment ended.
Failure would be an understatement...at least in the acedemic realm.

So I guess the lesson is.... changing my adress....

or getting drunk....or pursuing any other shameful,sinful ways to mess up my life.... don't satisfy the desired effect....nor do the enjoyements they offer for a short time last...

because I'm still the same John Schuchman...the same person who 'can't get rid of the sick feeling from being so far from perfect', and the same person finally realizing 'Life is this way because of how grossly far from perfect I am'

Oh God, save me please?

Our determined failure

2009-09-14T21:00:00.003-04:00

On why people dislike Christians... this is an interesting bit... The first part is from Leslie Nease's blog. She was a contestant a few seasons back on Survivor:China.

I got a glimpse into a possible reason why people judge Christians when I was reading the book Survivor written by Mark Burnett, the producer of the series. He was talking about Dirk Been, the Christian guy on season one of the series. I'm not sure where Mr. Burnett stands with his faith (I'm certainly not qualified to judge his heart!) but he sure does offer some pretty intense insight to this subject in this paragraph from page 59.... (taken from her blog.. )

Dirk's demise was probably a few Tribal Councils off. But it was sure to come for he was beginning to annoy Tagi. The reason was his Christianity. There seems to be something threatening about a devout person of any faith to non-believers. It's as though a mirror is being held up to their faults. They feel judged. Whenever an individual closer to life's idea state comes in contact with those drifting farther away - a physically fit person in a room of smokers, a mentally balanced person speaking with someone fragmented and dysfunctional - that person is quietly scorned as a reminder of imperfection. Thus the universal dislike for those seeking a higher plane. Mankind, by its very nature, is an imperfect animal. It's easier to revel in imperfection and mock those taking the bold step towards improvement than to actually attempt the step. On an island that mockery can translate into an easy vote.

Blogging through the Crap

2009-09-09T02:49:00.000-04:00

As I sit and sometimes wonder why I blog, I think the title of this post pretty much sums it all up. Blogging through the crap of life is why I blog. Some people blog when life is perfect. I am just the opposite. I blog when life just sucks...
That's not always the case, but it is the norm. I don't know if that's good or if it's bad.... I just know its the way I am.
I don't intend to blog to complain, but it's more to try to work out things in my head and try to find the biblical answer to my questions and issues. Certainly easier said than done. I'm still learning and trying to do things the right way...

2009-08-20T23:27:00.000-04:00

Everyone needs compassion,
Love that's never failing;
Let mercy fall on me.

Everyone needs forgiveness,
The kindness of a Savior;
The Hope of nations.

So take me as You find me,
All my fears and failures,
Fill my life again.

I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in,
Now I surrender.

Don't let your feeling get the best ...

2009-08-15T09:19:00.001-04:00

this sucks for me to. I hate it
I cry too. I here a song...or something...and just break down.

And going...

2009-08-14T23:37:00.002-04:00

And so life goes on.
And it's getting better!

I now have another job!! Say hi to the newest Red Robin employee!!! :)
At my 2nd and final interview on Thursday, I was asked if I would prefer morning or evening hours and I asked for morning. I am not sure of the shift that would be, but I have heard it might be like a 10-4 or 10-5 and if so, I will try to continue my 4-11 Tuesday-Saturday at Giannotti's, and have even been told if I work till around 4 or 5, I can just come over once I am done.
So that's great news. I still don't know how many days and hours I will have, but depending on what that is, I will then decide what to go about the job I currently have.

I am thankful that in a time when some people can't find any job at all, I now have an opportunity to work not 1, but 2 jobs.
Thank you Lord :)

Where life is going?

2009-08-12T23:52:00.001-04:00

It is g o i n g.
Or is it?
IF it is moving, it seems to be moving S L O W L Y.

Where is it going? I mean I'm 21 and still trying to figure out what I want to do with my life....
kinda frustrating, not because I don't have things I want to do or feel called to do, but I want to do and feel called to do so many different things.

In terms of short term plans.....I am working right now and looking for other work...with more hours and a better pay. I may have found it as I recently applied at Red Robin and have interview #2 tomorrow at 10 AM. Hopefully that goes well.

In terms of photography work, last Saturday (August 1st), I shot my first full wedding by myself!!!

It was VERY exciting. :)

I will share more details about that later. It may have led to more job opportunities at some point both short term and long term. The wedding itself went very well overall, and I was pretty happy with the photo results.

In general I am a tough place in terms of job decisions, living arrangements, and just so many areas in general. I'm beginning to once again realize that I do not control my own future, and someone much bigger and better than me does so.

I am thankful for that, though often I think I could control it better, I could not, and seeing how in limbo and undetermined so many things are, I think that's a great thing.

His plans are better than my own anyway, right?
I just sometimes wish I could know what they are.

I'm on a roller coaster ride. When doe s it end?

Or is it a never-ending ride?

Check out the new widget :D

2009-08-05T02:35:00.001-04:00

Schuchman Photography on Facebook

My life as an idiot...

2009-08-04T23:15:00.000-04:00

No really. I do lots of stupid things....but never this stupid....at least I don't think so.
So I'm at work tonight....getting ready to mop the floor at the end of my shift....

I do this every night/5 nights a week....and have since January.

Well....tonight I was getting ready to mop....when I dropped my phone...right into the bucket of boiling hot water....

Yeah....my phone pretty much took a crap right there.

RIP phone.

I feel like an idiot.
The end.

Long time no see

2009-07-31T04:17:00.003-04:00

Ah helllo friends.

Here I sit with time to blog. Why, well I don't know. Because I'm an idiot who doesn't sleep and it is 4 AM. I do try to sleep seriously. It just never happens. I'm a crazy lunatic.

It's been so long since I blogged...and oh how my life has changed, some public, much very private....but life has sure changed.

I guess I'm changing too. and my definition of change is also changing I guess. I'm not really sure exactly what that means....but it's happening.

I'm in a tough spot in a lot of ways. Those close enough to know the intimate workings of my life know about this stuff. The others just need to ask and I'm more than willing to talk.

I kinda feel like I have life under control and am in a good spot, while also feeling like I have no control and is my life is one downwardly spiraling mess. Is that proper English? I doubt it.
Anyway....

Rarely do I show emotion. Tonight I did. I cried. It felt like crap....while also feeling so wonderful.
There comes a point where you can only take so much hurt and pain before you break down. and when it comes from the people who you trust to support,encourage, and help you...it sucks.

But anyway. I'm learning a lot, growing a lot, and learning what true learning and growing even means.

I guess I'm in some twilight zone vortex just trying to regain my footing. I hope to catch it soon. Until then I look for footholds, pray for encouragement and good influences, and trust in the one that knows it all and has it all planned out.

Come along, continue to take this journey by following my blog.

I promise to make it more active now.
Seriously though this time :P

Game 7!!! Penguins vs. Red Wings

2009-06-12T12:30:00.002-04:00

Because this is the only update I have time for :P
A real one coming soon. Promise

For now, it's all about game 7 tonight for the Penguins and Red Wings.
Is there a better way for a season to end?

Great series by both teams! It all comes down to 1 game.

History, both past and present is against the Penguins in this game.
They were down 2-0 to the Capitals and won
They were down 2-0 to Detroit in this series, and yet here they sit.

It all comes down to tonight at 8.

A dynasty can repeat
or a dynasty can begin.

If Fluery is who he can be and has been at home, Pens are Champs.
If Fluery plays like he has in Detroit and Osgood is OsGreat, Red Wings repeat.

I love the Penguins, so it has been great to get to this point.

Tonight one team will celebrate.

Everything points to Detroit winning this game.

But February when the Penguins were on the outside looking in on a playoff spot, and 0-2 to the Capitals and these Red Wings pointed to them not even being here, so this team has been proving history wrong all year.

GO PENGUINS!!!

An off and on blogger

2009-05-08T03:52:00.003-04:00

I'm on and off more than the Philles pitching staff.

This will be quick and concise...but it's an update

More like facebook status updates than blog post but whatever.

I'm scared about the end of school. Almost all 4 of my classes could end with either really good grades or really bad grades...depending on how well the next 13 days go.
I'm so ready for the summer! Time with friends!!!! (maybe a week at the beach with ONLY friends!!!???) Time to work!! (and make money that I so desperately need!!)
Growing: I hope to do some major growing this summer...just with where I am in life... with relationships with friends of mine, with family of mine..and with Elisa. Always room for improvement, and I'm continuing to grow every day.

Yea that's it...not cuz there's nothing elise to say...but more because I'm sick of typing. haha

O FYI. Bio still sucks.

New favorite verse!

2009-04-22T23:38:00.004-04:00

James 4:7

⁷ So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

It's beautiful

2009-04-16T20:31:00.000-04:00

It's beautiful by EleventySeven.
One of my favorite songs and my most played right now.
I really enjoy the way it talks about what Christ
turns us into and how beautiful that really is.

Here's just part of the song I really like

Despite the grace that I dismissed
Forgiveness was the catalyst
To penetrate my heart with what is true...

Redeem the years I've thrown away
I'm ready to make good on what I've wasted
I'm asking You to shape my heart
I want to be Your work of art
'Cause when You change me
And make me more like You
It's beautiful.

and THAT is what I truly desire. Make me more like you.

Hold while I throw up on the window...

2009-04-15T23:31:00.000-04:00

I hate being sick. and I am sick so I kinda hate any time when I'm not sleeping right now.

My new best friend's in the world are Fisherman's Friends, and Elisa for introducing me to them. Unfortunately they got left at work yesterday and so I am about to die without them.
Food looks really gross when you are concerned about something else making you sick
I had to work and go to class while sick (bummer). Welcome to the real world: No snow days....or sick days either

I'm feeling quite random and that's why I am typing in bullets. Random and no real point to them....but they sure do look cool.

And how about we show a little love for the Pens who knocked up the Flyers tonight! :D.

This playoff series won't be much of a contest...and the Pens will win easily in 5 or 6.

I will be happy in a few weeks when the Flyers and Sixers are both knocked out of the playoffs as I happily watch the Penguins,Hurricanes,Cavaliers,and Spurs play on for a Championship.

This ends the random and unsorted bullet post.

Tuesday Ten

2009-04-14T22:45:00.001-04:00

Things I'm thankful for today!

1. Jesus rose from the dead :) The ultimate sacrifice turned into the ultimate triumph of sin.
2. On Sunday I was able to see many friends from Covenant I have not seen in months.
3. My family came up from Virginia for the weekend and I was able to spend some time with them.
4. Today I took 3 test for my computers class, which was a big step in catching up on school.
5. I did better on the tests than I thought I would. I knew more of the material so my grades on them should be pretty good.
6. I only have 4 more weeks of school.
7. I went into work today. As much as I may not like my job, I have a job, locally. I am learning to be thankful for what I have since some people can't even get a job.
8. I am beginning to figure out my plans for the fall school-wise.
9. My sister got back to Pittsburgh safely today. Mom,Sam, and the girls also arrived safely in Fredericksburgh.
10. God is in control of every situation in my life, even when I don't understand them or like certain situations.

Losing Control.

2009-04-11T13:37:00.003-04:00

I got onto blog about something else on my mind, but it was all planned out. I don't like to blog when I plan posts out. I like to go sentence to sentence and tell you what's on my mind. It's a way to be honest and genuine. No sugar coating...no faking it, but plenty of misplaced and jumbled words I'm sure.
as a short update....let's just say life seems a little to crazy for me to handle right now. I feel like I'm losing control of myself. School is becoming more complicated as the semester continues. I still feel behind. Work is busy as ever... and conflicts arise as I begin to know these people.
Relationships seem somewhat torn but hopeful that though I may not like certain rules and restrictions placed in many of the relationships around me....they are always for a purpose, and are often good for me.

This week was spring break, but instead I feel more crammed and running out of time and patience then when I didn't have a break.

Don't let me die.

2009-04-04T23:52:00.000-04:00

I read this yesterday in 'Leadership' as I did my devotions. It was speaking about Eli. A well respected man as a religous leader, yet he couldn't get it done at home.
The book says

This reverend judge in Israel failed to discipline his two sons...Elisa lost his job, and eventually his life... If we do not faithfully lead our own households, we lack the qualifications to work beyond the home... Eli made some crucial errors.
Emphasis- Eli emphasized teaching his colleagues and clients, not his famiy.
Example-Eli failed to live out in his home what he taught at work.
Entanglements- Eli got so caught up with his profession, he blinded himself to his failu

Wow. I certainly hope that will not be me. As I pursue a relationship with the hope of pushing towards becoming a husband and father who is a leader, I really thought about this as I read. All I could keep thinking was 'Please don't let this be me'. My exact prayer was

Lord, teach me NOW how to be the head of a family so that I may teach my children what is right. I don't want to die because I did not properlly,biblically, teach them what is right. I don't want them to live their life not listening to authority as I sadly, often did. Teach them your ways because I don't want them to have to learn everything the hard way or to die because they do not listen.

Where life is at today

2009-04-03T23:35:00.000-04:00

Where Am I?

I'm trying to figure that out so I break it down into sections.

1. Lonely- I miss my granmother now with Jesus, I miss my family down in North Carolina, and those also in Virginia. I miss them all more than ever.

2. Not lonely- After 11 days away, I was finally able to see Elisa, my dad, and friends in PA again. I missed them and am glad to be back with them.

3. Frustrated- After almost 2 weeks away, I got behind in school. I came back and have been cramming all week... and now tomorrow I have a huge biology exam tomorrow that I don't feel prepared for. I studied for days for the last one...and got a D. I feel less prepared this time and honestly am frustrated beyond belief. I don't know what I am going to do. I guess I just have to leave it at 'I've done my best to prepare for this test', and leave the rest up to God.

4, Renewed and Hopeful.

Becoming that leader.

I've had struggles for months with trying to read my bible on a daily basis. So how to handle an issue like this? Cut back on the time and reading right? I missed the logic of that... so I not only increased the amount I was reading...but also the times I would read.

I couldn't handle reading it once a day...so now it will be twice a day..,

Morning and Evening, which just so happens to be the title of the book (by Charles Spurgeon) I am using for my devotions. I am also going through Leadership: Promises for Every Day (by John C. Maxwell). I did not give God once per day...so let's see if I can give him twice a day, and make a way to work it into my schedule. It's been a long battle, but I want to give him my all...and knowing that he will take it leaves me hopeful.

That's about all that's up in the life of John. Never Boring :)

My heart sings a brand new song.
The debt is paid, these chains are gone.
All that is within me cries
For You alone be glorified:
Emmanuel, God with us.-Mercy Me

INFILTRATE

2009-04-01T14:33:00.001-04:00

I’m a part of the Fellowship of the Unashamed.

I’ve stepped over the line.
The decision has been made.
I’m a disciple of His.
I won’t look back, let up, slow down, back away or be still.
My past redeemed, my present makes sense, my future is secure.

I’m finished and done with low living, sidewalking, small-planning, smooth-knees, colorless dreams, tame visions, worldly-talking, cheap-giving, and dwarfed goals.

I no longer need pre-eminence, position, promotion, applause or popularity.
I don’t have to be right, first, tops, recognized, praised, regarded or rewarded.

I now live by faith, lean on His presence, walk by patience.
I’m uplifted by prayer, and labor by power.
My face is set, my gait is fast, my goal is heaven, my road is narrow, my way is rough, my companions are few, my God reliable.
My mission is clear.
I cannot be bumped, compromised, detoured, lured away, turned back, deluded or delayed.
I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of my adversaries, negotiate at the table of my enemy or ponder at the pool of popularity.
I won’t give up, shut up, let up until I’ve stayed up, stored up, prayed up, preached up for the cause of Christ.
I am a DISCIPLE OF JESUS.

Finally back.

2009-03-31T23:17:00.000-04:00

I'm finally home. It was good to be with my family. It was good to see granny before she died. It was great to see my cousins and Aunts and Uncles. It was so sad to go. I spent the weekend becoming closer to them and getting to know all of my family better.

It was really hard to leave. Part of me never wanted to go, the rest of me knew I had no choice. I've lost 3 weeks of work which means I'm uh...broke. I've lost 2 weeks of school so now I am way behind in school.

Hmmm. I've already had to ask for extensions for work to be done in 2 classes. That really stinks because then it pushes everything back as well.

Welcome back to life John. Enjoy being so busy that you don't know how to function for rest of the week.

Some encouraging words from Job.

2009-03-27T23:32:00.000-04:00

I, for my part, know that my Redeemer lives
that He, at last, will rise on the earth.
After I wake up, he will make me stand next to Him,
and, in my flesh, I shall see God.
The One I shall see shall be for me,
the One I shall look upon will not be a stranger.

Job 19:25-27

And Angie Waggoner knew that and lived it. And she is standing next to him. She has seen him and he knows her. He has given her an eternal home in Heaven.

Well Done.

The time has finally passed.

2009-03-26T02:28:00.002-04:00

My grandmother is gone. Thank you granny for everything.
Thank you for living your life for Jesus.
Thank you for living your life to teach your 4 children and 15 grandchildren about the love of Christ and about right and wrong.
Thank you for being a shining example to the world of God's love and plan for those he calls.

Yesterday I heard a story of a time when you were in the hospital and very sick. You were on lots of medication which had you 'out of it', but when a nurse swore using the name of Jesus, you said Please don't insult the name of Jesus. He is the one in whom all my hope lies.

Angie Elizabeth Waggoner, I love that story because that wasn't a show. That was who you were inside and out.

I can only hope to live life the way you lived it, knowing God was guiding all your steps.

I praise the Lord that at around 1:30 this morning, you heard the words

Matthew 25:²¹"His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!'

Still here

2009-03-25T22:39:00.002-04:00

Still with my grandmother. Wow she sure is a fighter. We were told she would be gone within 48 hours of Wednesday morning, but she is still here. At this point, it looks like I am leaving at some point this weekend. Right now it looks like it is going to be Sunday. I really need to get back to work and school. I have already missed 3 weeks of work and a whole week of school and can't afford to miss any more of either.
Gran's breathing is becoming more shallow, and some here don't expect her to survive the night, but that's been said for a few days, so I don't know what to expect anymore.
At least I feel at peace (seriously this time) and believe that God's plan will be met whether she dies tonight, tomorrow, or some other time in the future.

Jeremiah 17:14
Heal me, O Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved; for you are the one I praise.

(IS IT) well with my soul?

2009-03-23T22:55:00.003-04:00

Ah. What a great song.
"It is well with my soul".

Always one of my favorites and so re-assuring. But in this moment...I question it.

My aunt has played this song the last to nights on the piano as I was falling asleep. Both nights I found it hard to not cry. Last night I just broke down.

I can say I'm ready for her to go to 'be in a better place', but really I find it rather uneasy that she will not be here anymore. I find it hard to believe I could wake up tomorrow and she would be gone.

I told myself I would be fine and ok with her dying, but wanted to be here to support the rest of my family.

I was wrong. I'm not ok. I'm not ready for this, and right now, honestly nothing feels well within my soul.

The peace I thought I had, isn't really there. The strength I though I had to hold back the tears is gone.

Right now I am not at peace.

Maybe I just need a good night's sleep

The time draws near

2009-03-22T14:56:00.000-04:00

It's coming, and soon. She's headed home.

It's so hard to know that everything you do could be your last with your grandmother alive. She always was a fighter who never gave up. She's had cancer for years, but never did she complain about it or blame God or any of us. She took her lot in life, and trusted in him for everything.

I heard she was 'with it' and recognizing people earlier today, and ran downstairs to her bed thinking 'what if this is the last time she recognizes me'.

I ran up to get my camera wondering if this will be the last time I go up these stairs while she is alive.

Thankfully though, this is not her home, and this pain she feels, and the sadness all of us here feel will not last.

Getting ready to say goodbye...

2009-03-20T22:59:00.000-04:00

It's so hard to let those close to you go,especially those that have never let anything stop them from living life to its fullest.

My grandmother is very sick and has been given only a few days to live. She has had cancer for years, and it has reached her brain and the rest of her body. She was told by doctors months ago that they couldn't do anything else for her, but we didn't know she would go this quick until she took a turn for the worst late Wednesday night. I left early Thursday morning to come down here because I was told she only had a few days to live. All of her vitals are dropping, and I've come to grips with the fact that at this time next week,or even in a couple days, she will be gone.

Part of me just wants to cry, and I've done alot of it. I don't want to see her go. I don't want to see my mom,Aunts,and Uncle have to deal with losing their mother.

YET, The other part of me is ready to see it and would like God to take her sooner rather than later. She is confident in where she is going, and lived her life in that manner. I don't want to see her in pain anymore. This is the part that often hides itself.

In times like this, its hard to believe that God has an eternal plan bigger than me, or my grandmother Angie Waggoner,or any of the people here this weekend.

Not so into this blogging thing

2009-02-19T22:48:00.003-05:00

Yeah so I'm not so into blogging anymore? Maybe I just lost the 'flavor of the week' that blogging was. Maybe I started dating and suddenly had no time? Maybe (HELLO!!!) Lost and Survivor are back and I don't feel like I can sacrifice concentrating on them. haha

Either way....the blogging has calmed down a bit. I actually don't think the answer is any of those things. I believe that I just felt like personal information and daily things were not something everyone needed to know or even cared about. So the blogging stopped, but here I am again.

So here is what is up with my life.

School is back. I honestly have the worst 4 classes ever...all in one semester. Luckily though, Elisa is in my Monday night Biology class, and a good friend of mine is in my Wednesday night accounting class, so at least those two are not as bad because people I am close too are in the classes. The other two are just bad. One is an online course, but the other is an UNBEARABLE Music Appreciation class on Thursday nights. Ugh don't even get my started on how awful it is. Everything is just bad....the teacher, the subject matter...everything.

ugh enough of the school discussion.

SO is there anything else to discuss?

AH YES...

So work... as many of you know I got a new job about 6 weeks ago. Well I was just working Friday and Saturday nights (Social Life Killer) but they liked me so much and said I was a good worker (told you mom!!!) that they also gave me Tuesday nights, and are trying to find more hours for me.

I also took on reading through the book of James with Elisa. It was great to finally find myself in a reading the bible every day mode. I tried for so long to do it and just always would do it for like a week and then stop for months on end. So we read through James and are now reading through my favorite book, Romans, together.

James was an interesting look at LIFE. I seriously felt like it was exactly what I was going through day to day. I especially love James 2:14-3:12 and 5:7-20.

Seriously check it out if you are looking for something to read or especially apply to whatever you are going through right now!

Well folks, that's all for now.
Praying you are are well!

²³Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. ²⁴ He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it.
²⁵ Brothers, pray for us..... ²⁷I put you under oath before the Lord to have this letter read to all the brothers.

Life at that crossroad.

2009-01-26T22:46:00.000-05:00

It's where I stand.

I want to do well in school....but other desires (dating, friends, just being lazy) pull me away
I desire to save money....but also want to go out to eat, buy CD's movies and go places
I desire to love Elisa....but also desire for my own way which is not love

I want God's will for my life....but normally only if it fits my plans.

Lord change my heart, change my desires. Turn my world upside down. Take my desires away, all of them. Make me only desire you and to know you more fully and your plan for my life.
Give the me the strength and patience to leave life in your hands, because your plans are better than my own, and when I try to take control of my life, I just mess things up...no doubt about that one. Change my heart and give me a heart for you instead of one where I desire only to serve myself.

I need it now, just like always.
Help me realize that.

So long ...........farewell

2009-01-19T22:34:00.002-05:00

It seems like every post has been an 'I'm coming back', and instead turned into a 'Adios for a long,long time'. That was never intentional, and yet it happened.
So here is my 'so long' to the farewell....for I don't want to delay my updates like this anymore.

I feel like I should update everyone on the last 2+ months of my life, but I don't know what to even say and how to describe it.
It's hard to even describe or think about how far things have come in so many areas of my life.

I guess if there was an overall theme to the past few months and now the theme of my life, it's that everytime that you feel hopeless, with God there is allways.

I went through over 20 job applications over the past few months, never getting a job. I was upset, I was depressed and I became angry at God for not giving me a job. I turned my back on him yet he never let go and didn't turn away from me as I deserved. Instead he opened a door and allowed me to find a great job with a wonderful company. I began the job a week and a half ago and so far so good. The people I work with are great and the managers like me and say I am a hard worker, so...so far so good. I didn't deserve this opportunity at another job...and yet God is gracious and gave it to me.

As of now I am working about 30 hours a week between the two jobs I have.

Part of me doesn't understand why I get second chances and chances to fix my mistakes, but I am surely grateful for those chances. I am understand more about myself every day and just starting to grasp how often I ignore what God is telling me or trying to show me. Thankfully, when I try to run away and turn my back, he never lets go.

Everything else continues to run its course in my life. I start school again on Monday and it should be a make or break it semester. I currently have 4 courses but am hoping to bump that up to 5 or maybe 6 if I get can get signed into 2 courses I need but don't have the pre-requisites for.

Me and Elisa continue to grow together as well. I can't believe we are fast approaching 3 months together. It's strange how fast time has gone. I am so happy for her and what she means to my life. She makes me want to do things differently then the 20 years of failed attempts.Before I lived in the 'here and now' and for myself. Now I am becoming a different person, realizing that the decisions I make don't just effect me here, but also me and others around me long term. I am starting to learn more about this each day. Decisions that I made over my life have effected others in a negative way, and I don't want to do that to anyone anymore. I want to be living like I know about that hope for the future I am told about (Jeremiah 29:11), and live my life striving to reach those goals for myself, for me and Elisa as a couple, and for the family, friends, and people I come in contact with as I go.

Elisa has become my best friend and ultimate supporter, never accepting failure or falling short, especially when I am ready to just give up on myself, she pushes me further.

The ride continues and I will continue to be thankful for it as I go, praying that God holds me and my plans tightly in his own plan and doesn't let me go off that path or turn my back on him again.

So.....

so long .....for now, until next time. When will it be? I don't know....but hopefully the delay is short so that I can keep the people who care enough to read this and care about me as a person updated on how my journey is going.

Is there a good reason teachers get away with this stuff?

2008-11-17T21:33:00.002-05:00

Why a teacher can say she believes it's a woman's choice to have an abortion and she doesn't want anyone writing a paper about it because she will grade it unfairly because she is very strong about the issue

OR

Why a teacher can show a video in a Biology that says 'As we can see from how similar humans are to other mammals, Darwin's theory was correct'

BUT Heaven forbid a teacher NOT lose their job because they mention God or Jesus in the classroom or push Christianity on you.

and THIS is why our society is on a highway to hell.

Let's change it my friends.

Where life is at.

2008-11-16T22:36:00.002-05:00

A crazy holycrapIcantseriouslybelievethis stage.

First off, let's start where I left off with my car which was hit.

Well as always, God provided. I got my loan paid off and made about $2,000 off of the car.

In addition, after being forced to give back the Mustang after 2 weeks (I'll miss you baby!) I was able to find a very good price (got it for $5,000 even though it was on the guys lot for $7,500) on a Yellow 2002 Chevy Caviler LS. It's a pretty sick little car if I may so myself.
Fast, Loud, and Sunroof---> 3 things to look for in a car and I got all 3. HAHA
But seriously, it's sick looking and only has 50,000 miles so that's cool too. Thanks to my stepdad, I got a really good deal, and amazingly got approved for the entire amount of the loan and didn't have to put any money down.

School is a real JERK right now... and I'm super busy.

Hmmm I think that's all of the important info in my life

Oh wait...I forgot one thing. :P

Dating (with a purpose) : So...not sure how I explain this story without spending 10 years typing but I'll try.

Um....I guess the simple way to start is to say I AM dating. It just so happened that I fell for my best friend and she liked me to :P

So.... 4 years after meeting, having been best friends all of that time, suddenly were together.
She's amazing, or as my mom said about 502 times last night 'She's good for you'. Indeed she is. :)

Her name is Elisa and hopefully all of my friends get to meet her (If they haven't already). So....after 244 months of singleness....suddenly I'm not so single anymore :)

Honestly, she knows me better than I know myself and makes me study (not sure that I'm such a fan of that part). But seriously, she's amazing and very good to me.

I guess now the goal, if there can be one after only 3 weeks....is DON'T RUSH THINGS.

We have rushed stuff just a bit, so I'm trying to S-L-O-W down for now and take things easy.

A month ago I was just trying to get through school and work without wanting to kill myself. Now I've got a new set of dynamics to deal with and things to worry about, but I wouldn't have it any other way, and I certainly welcome the challenge. :)

One of those weekends!

2008-10-20T21:08:00.004-04:00

And LONG too...

That it was. The beginning of the weekend just sucked.
Luckily, the past couple of days saved it.

Thursday/Friday: Throwing up (all over my school books... that was exciting).

Saturday: Work was 'ehh' as normal.
Then I went home to study. A friend invited me to go to Hershey for the night, so that was the plan. Then it went from bad to REALLY bad.

While on the way, I was in a car crash! :(
Some IDIOT ran a stop sign and T-boned me.
It was terrible to deal with, and it's looking like my car will be totaled. Thankfully though, I have loan-lease payoff, so my loan will be paid off and its looking like I will get some money back as well, but still it kinda stinks that I have to deal with the hassle and now will have to get approve for another loan.

Sunday: The day things kind of turned around, or at least the day the crash didn't leave such a bad taste. Here's why.

I went to get a rental car, which the insurance company is paying for, and as me and my dad pulled up to Hertz to get the car, I said

Wow, wouldn't it be AWESOME if they gave me that new Mustang.

I never REALLY considered it a possibility, but OH what a HUGE smile went over my face when the lady says,

By the way Mr. Schuchman, we upgraded you to a Ford Mustang.

My jaw dropped!
Literally.
2008 Mustang GT
Red and she is HOT :)

It is AMAZING and so fun to drive.
Fast and Hot looking.
Maybe a little too fast for my own good! ;)

Pictures of the crash and the Stang to follow when I can get them up.

Love=

2008-10-16T14:07:00.002-04:00

Necessary evil
Confusing
Awkward
One part of life that I don't understand, no matter how hard I try.

Truth In Silence

2008-10-11T02:50:00.003-04:00

I'm not a big fan of silence.

Anyone who knows me shouldn't find that hard to believe. There is rarely a moment where I have complete silence in my life. I almost always have sound coming into my ears, usually through music which I play constantly.
So when I am placed in a spot of of true silence, I find myself in awe. There I was last night, or rather this morning at 1:00. I laid there thinking,trying to fall asleep. Thinking about events of the past few days and different conversations I've had. And I sat there until 1:40 to think, in silence. I tried and tried and couldn't fall asleep, so instead, I thought/prayed/wondered in silence. I was dead tired, but couldn't sleep!
Then,after think so hard, I finally fell asleep at 1:45. End of story?

No. I was dead tired, and just praying I would wake up in time to get to work by 8 AM. So my alarms (Yes I use more than one) were set: 7:20 AM. Next thing I know, Awake, jumping out of bed, alarm going off, and so I turn them off (or at least I thought I did).

I came downstairs, shaved, and went back upstairs to get dressed. Then I looked at the clock. 2:40 AM. What? Didn't I just fall asleep? I have no idea what happened or how I just woke up, but I did. Then, suddenly, the thoughts were back in my head again, and so I knew I needed to blog it, or else I would forget it.

So much is going through my mind right now that I don't understand.
Love? EH.... Don't ask cause I don't understand. No seriously. My head says one thing, my heart says another. I guess my facebook status I set before I fell asleep could accurately describe it all.

John is headed to bed. Doesn't want to think about it,but praying he can dream about it.

My head said don't even THINK about it. My heart desired for more than just thinking, and wanted to dream about it. I'm really not sure how my head and heart co-exist in the same body since they pull in opposite directions almost all of the time! If I get to a T, my heart says left, while my head says right. SO which do I listen to?

There's the part in my head that says

"You've got a lot more to worry about in life right now than dating. You need to concentrate on school,work, and serving God"

My heart fights back ''You've never dated anyone, you've said ''true love waits'' for the longest time, not even giving yourself a chance, so maybe now's the time. Take that step''

So that's where I am. Do I try, or do I forget about it? Ignoring it is often harder than heartbreak, at least for me. Would I rather not find out at all....or find out,even if it means this isn't the right one? I don't know the answer.

There's a part of me that hates this entire discussion, but let me make things clear. I'm not just looking to be with ANYONE, because they have come along, but have not been committed to the same beliefs that I have. And I've got standards and beliefs, and I can't stretch those for any girl, no matter how much I wish I could.

I can't date a non-Christian. That is 100% out of the question. There are other things as well, but that is neither here nor there. More than anything, I want her to love God more than anything else, and seek his direction.

I'm learning things I need to know to begin preparing myself for someone special, so that's kinds cool I guess.

I've learned that :

I'm NOT always right.

Saying 'I'm Sorry' always helps things.

Shouldn't these things been learned years ago? Yeah probably.

So anyway. That's where I'm at.

Somewhere between 'desiring for a relationship' while also 'desiring to wait on God's timing'.

I'm not sure the two can co-0exist, but it feels like ,right now at least, I am living between the two of them.

All the while, I'm learning what he's trying to tell me through the silence. Music off, Lights Out, selfish hopes and desires laid aside. Silence.

The skeptic!

2008-10-10T18:12:00.005-04:00

For those that didn't know, I began taking a friend of mine to a bible study about skepticism. He doesn't believe in God or Christianity, so I figured this would be a good environment for him to learn and ask questions while also being in a safe environment. So far so good. He thought the leader (my pastor Jim) was 'cool' and when I asked him what he thought of the book/study he said he 'couldn't say yet without giving it more time'. I took that as a 'Yes, I'll be back in 2 weeks'. That's more than I thought I would get. I thought I would take him and we would be disinterested in the conversation,angry he came, and never want to go back. None of the the three happened, but rather just the opposite happened.

Pray for him, and for me as I learn more than I ever thought I could.
I thought I was just a ride there for him. Instead I am concerned for him, while also learning something about myself and my skepticism.

He (God) raised Lazarus from the dead. I have to trust that he can work in the heart of my friend as well

One of those days?

2008-10-08T23:56:00.002-04:00

Ya know....one of those (Oops I slept in, woke up at 10 which was way to late because I really need to be awake by 9 to study, and dang it I slept so long that now I am more tired than when I went to bed, and crap that paper is due in a couple hours and I haven't started it...and oh my gosh..have I moved to Alaska? It is so cold in this house I need 3 or 4 coats on just to survive, but at least I'm awake and didn't sleep right through my class at noon) days.

Alive and awake I am, and a little less stressed (while still job hunting)

Sick of school!

2008-10-05T23:12:00.003-04:00

Seriously. When does it end. (checks WebAdvisor) 12/12/08.

Ugh, that can't come soon enough!

The semester started 42 days ago.

It ends in 69 days.

Ok I think I can handle that. I hope :/

It's just crazy and busy now.

Teachers need to realize that students have tough schedules and should work together and NOT all have test and papers due the same week!

Last week was so tough, with 3 test and 1 paper.
This week should be less stressful, hopefully!
I have a paper due tomorrow, a quiz tomorrow night, and a test that I am supposed to have taken by the end of this week (for one of my online courses).

So that's manageable!
Like I said though, I'm just ready for it to be over!

I am going over to the work study office tomorrow and hopefully getting some work on campus (about 10-15 hours a week)

That would make things a little more financially stable, so I'm praying that works out!

Still a lot going on

2008-10-04T06:56:00.000-04:00

Work Today at 8 AM. Not cool. But hey, I'm glad for the job so I'm not gonna complain. (at least not on Saturdays where I actually make decent money)

Another Job. Still searching. My first option is going to be work study on campus at RACC. I plan on bring a resume in on Monday morning.

Phillies. For those that didn't know, I was at Thursday night's National League Divsion Series Phillies game vs. the Brewers. It was the largest crowd in the history of Citizen's Bank Park, and oh my gosh....it was amazing. The best game I'm ever been too, and the atmosophere was crazy! I got some sick pictures, and I'll be sure to post some pictures when I get them uploaded and editied.

Phillies Again. They play tonight in Milwakee. If they win, they'll be going to the NLCS, and 4 wins from the World Series. This is all so surreal. I can't believe this. My hope is to see them play my other team (Red Sox) in the World Series, but I just want to get through the Brewers before I worry about even the next round.

and Penguins :) The Pittsburgh Penguins open their season tonight from Sweden against the Ottawa Senetors!!! No more screwing around.
This is OUR YEAR! and I mUST MUST MUST see my Pens play this year, if I go to Philly, or if I have to WALK to Pittsburgh. I must see them play!

Work till 1
Test from 1:30-2:30
Pens from 2:30-5:30
Phillies from 6:30-9:30
And in between all that, I'll squezze it some homework. That is if I am awake.

I have to take this huge Bio test at 1:30, and I've been up all night studying for it.
I was NOT going to go into another test unprepared. So, I've studied all night.
Hopefully it pays off.

I'm done not working as hard as I can.
Believe it or not, community college really does suck, and I'm looking to get back to Desales and get through college ASAP!

Aight, that's all for now!

GO PHILLS/PENS :)

A week!?

2008-10-03T23:10:00.001-04:00

Dang...sorry

I forget to blog.
Mostly because I've reformed my views.
NoBama.

haha no but seriously.

I feel less included to blog about everything I do now.

If you've read for a while, I used to blog every day, even when there was nothing worth blogging about....

Today...I went to the bathroom

That's what it seems like a lot of my post were like.
HAHA

so....that is gone.

I'll blog when I feel the need to do so.

So now I do:

School is going crazy.
1 test this week
1 paper due this week
another test (which I have to take tomorrow) :(

I need to work hard, and I mean really hard, just to keep up with this stuff!

This is what happens when you make a teacher mad

2008-09-27T05:02:00.002-04:00

The teacher gives you a 3 page paper to write.

Yeah. Pretty 'el stupido' if you ask me, but who am I to have an opinion!?

My American Lit teacher was upset in class yesterday that very few of us had read the assigned text.

So she, being the intelligent person that she was (not) assigned us to write a 3 page paper on Thomas Payne.

UGH, as if I had nothing better to do with my life, I get to right a 3 page paper before Monday at noon.

I'd like teachers to get the memo: I have a life outside of your class!!

Yes, I survived

2008-09-25T13:39:00.003-04:00

Little People Yes, I did indeed survive. I actually spent most of the time holding a little guy who didn't want to be alone. The kids were so cute :)

I missed the sermon, and that's never fun.... but I had a good time with the kids!

West Valley Presbeterian Church

2008-09-21T08:04:00.001-04:00

to be a church for the West Valley,

in order that Jesus Christ is celebrated as

the only hope

for the brokenness in us and around us

Take two of a preview of all of this happens in just over an hour.
I'm excited to see how God uses this church.

The week is over,another begins!

2008-09-20T20:15:00.002-04:00

My Week Yes it over (well, in a an hour). It was a tough one.
I said this in my last post and I say it again: there is a LOT going on on in my life.
It goes beyond school, it goes beyond my job.
And this week has brought more.

A long conversation (and long delayed) I talked to a friend that I haven't heard from since January. She has gone through a lot, more than I could have ever though was possible. The fact that she still is living and trying to get past what happened, is just an amazing inspiration and testimony to God's Grace and hand over everything.
I can't share much more, but please pray for her.

Photography Something I pretty much think about all of the free time I have. There is good reason for it, and I will share some information on that SOON!

Munchkins,little people, kids As in, I'll be watching them tomorrow during the service at West Valley PCA. I got a call tonight asking if I would help with the kids on the morning (because I was on a short list who has gone through the background check and could). I'm exited! I've working with the 6-8 year old range at Cornerstone, but this is my first time with really little people! (2-4 year olds is the age range I think). I'll let ya'll know how it goes. Hopefully I'll survive without stained clothes or glue everywhere! :P

Just another week

2008-09-18T01:47:00.002-04:00

Is it the weekend yet? No, but thursday are pretty easy! I need it.

Seriously...I'm in serious 'Rush till you got no more energy left in you' rut. I want to get out of it!!!

School is busy, work is busy, and it's just the start of the business...or was that the last time I blogged?

I don't know. But it's busy.
I need to get on a set schedule of studying, and once I do that I will be fine and not rushing as much.

Along with school and work, I'm part of so many other things... but that's discussion for another day.

A day that's too long.

2008-09-13T13:55:00.002-04:00

That is, today.

I am spending the day working...a long long day.

I went into work at 8 this morning. (which is way to early for ANY day of the week!!!)
The morning wasn't bad, but I am not holding onto hope that the evening will not be.

I got done at 1 and went home, and am currently trying to ENJOY my 2 hours away from work, and then I go back from 3-11 (which will probably stretch out to midnight).

Then I will try to drive home (if I haven't gone crazy and driven off a bridge halfway through my shift) to try and get a decent nights sleep before I wake up to go help set up for the 1st West Valley PCA Service! (that part is actually exciting!!!) More to follow about that tomorrow!

But first.....I have to get through this horrible day of work.

Trying to plant my feet.

2008-09-12T21:13:00.002-04:00

That I am.
In more ways than one.

I'm trying to be more consistent about blogging (I promise).
I'm trying to work my way around the boxes and piles of junk in my room and get things organized so I have a Room here at my dad's house,not just a room where I keep unorganized junk!

and....I'm trying to get my life in order as well. That is, it's not in order now. I'm trying to get better about preparing enough time for the things that need attention, most importantly, studying!

I haven't fallen behind in school YET, but I'm getting into those make or break weeks where you either set yourself to do well, or get so behind that you set yourself up to never recover the rest of the semester, and you spend the entire rest of it just trying to keep your head above water with your work, but you are so behind that there is no hope to succeed.

So with that said, I've realized that I need to be more organized, so I'm doing my best to keep up with the school work, and so far I'm doing ok.

Time to make or break.

Alive, Barely

2008-09-04T22:31:00.002-04:00

Yes I am I alive
Yes the blog died for a while
Yes I am back to stay,as is the blog.

Where was I? Trying to figure out life and where mine is going, specifically for this fall
What have I figured out? I know that I am living with my dad in Reading,PA. I am going to RACC (Reading Area Community College). I am working at a restaurant near my dad's house.

Besides that, I haven't figured out much.

I thought I had things figured out. I had a job for Sleepy's paying decent money.Then out of the blue, I lost my job. The position was no longer one within the company. Apparently, they are not making enough money to pay someone to sit all day for 20 hours a week. GO figure.

At that point, a good friend helped me get a job at this restaurant. It doesn't pay much, but its close to home and gives me a decent amount of hours. For that I am truly thankful. God has certainly showed me what hard work REALLY means, because I work my BUTT off.

With that said, the job is going well, and I am looking to get an increase in hours hopefully sometime this month.

Other than all of that, I have been helping my family pack for Virginia, and they moved last Monday. :(

More details on that to follow, but it was a crazy time as I tried to help them get the house packed up while also trying to figure out what I was going.

I'm learning more and more that trying to figure things out on my own doesn't do very much good. Instead, it leave me hanging by a thread feeling like 'Yeah I'm alive, but barely hanging on', just hoping God is TRULY holding on to me.

This post is vague, and for good reason. I will discuss many of these things in details face-to-face with many of you over the next few weeks, and will also fill in the blanks .

Until then,
Viva la Vida!

where my life is going?

2008-08-18T20:19:00.000-04:00

I wish I knew the answer to that.None of my plans have gone.

I'm not back at Desales, and won't be until 2009.
and now, suddenly I am jobless and carless.

Thursday, I found out that the program I was working under for Sleepy's was done. In other words, John is IMMEDIATELY jobless with no prior notice, and I didn't do anything wrong to deserve losing the job.

Then, Friday, my car broke down on the side of the road. Yes, the car I just bought. And today I found out that the bill for the car is $800. Needless to say, I don't have enough money to fix it.

I don't know why this is happening.

Its days like the past few days that I really question whether God is in control.

Texting: A bad habit.

2008-08-14T22:40:00.001-04:00

The American College of Emergency Physicians warned this week of the danger of more serious accidents involving oblivious texters.

The ER doctors cite rising reports from doctors around the country of injuries involving text-messaging pedestrians, bicyclists, Rollerbladers (sic), even motorists.

Most involve scrapes, cuts and sprains from texters who walked into lampposts or walls or tripped over curbs.
Still, ER doctors who responded to a recent informal query from the organization reported two deaths, both in California. A San Francisco woman was killed by a pickup truck earlier this year when she stepped off a curb while texting, and a Bakersfield man was killed last year by a car while crossing the street and texting.

The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission has no national estimate on how common texting-related injuries are. But among the reports it has received: A 15-year-old girl fell off her horse while texting, suffering head and back injuries, and a 13-year-old girl suffered belly, leg and arm burns after texting her boyfriend while cooking noodles.

How stupid do you have to be to text while riding a horse? Come on now....

The best day of the year!

2008-08-13T16:28:00.000-04:00

Today is International Lefthanders Day! Give your favorite southpaw a hug-or try switching hands for a day!

A mad packing contest

2008-08-12T18:08:00.000-04:00

That's what today was like. My room is almost all packed, and today we made some major progress with the garage and arranged it so we could move all of the packed boxes from the rest of the house down there and have some extra space in the rest of the house. It was good to get something accomplished, but its sad because I'm realizing that in less than 3 weeks, I won't be living here anymore :(

An honest challenge

2008-08-11T22:39:00.001-04:00

I said this to a friend last night, today I said it to myself (alot), and now, I say it to you.
It's coming from my heart, and it's me being honest and sharing what I'm thinking.

You often complain about how bad your life sucks, but have you ever stopped and said ,God's got everything in control, and I really don't need to worry, and knowing he has everything in control? It really means that you need to say, 'ya know... my life IS NOT that bad.' Have you ever considered the fact that he has things going on that even you don't understand, but he promises that it will all work out! Do you consider the fact that he has something going on that is bigger and better than yourself?

I said what I was thinking, because I thought it was needed. I've realized over the past 29 hours that really it was ME who needed to hear it, not her.

Yay!....not

2008-08-05T15:54:00.000-04:00

I registered for courses today at RACC. If they reality hadn't sunk in that I will be at RACC again this fall and not at Desales, today I got a reality check. As of now the classes aren't set because I am trying to get another class (and skip the pre-requesit). So, I have to go to RACC at some point this week or next to try to get in that class. Until then...I REALLY need to get this Marketing course done!

I knew this would come back to haunt me...

2008-08-04T20:47:00.000-04:00

Not being done with school.

I have 2 incomplete courses from the Spring Semester, and was told all along by the teachers 'take your time to finish these courses'. Well I took my time...and much more, as it is now the beginning of August and the courses are not done.
I have begun to make progress though, as I spent about 4 hours working on my Marketing course, in hopes to get this course done by the end of this week. The plan is to take to final exam on Thursday or Friday morning, and working on the final 2 projects from now to then...in hopes of having this course completely done by that point.

Then, I will start working on the Computer Applications course next week...and it is a LOT of work and it is HARD work! (You'd think someone that spends as much time on the computer as I do would find this course easy! Unfortunately, its not easy, but in fact quite complicated!

Hopefully I can have this stuff done within the next couple weeks!

It is LONG overdue!

A typical Sunday

2008-08-03T20:40:00.000-04:00

Well sorta typical I guess.
I was up by 6:45 and off to church by 7:15 ( I seriously can't stress enough how old that is becoming). Then After church, I had to work (which I am also getting sick of). There, unlike yesterday....I sat there....bored. I was at one of the Sleepy's in Pottstown, but I again had some really good food, that someone else paid for (which makes it extra nice). I sat there thinking

Is this what Sunday, A day of rest is supposed to look like? Most Sundays I
spend at least 3- 4hours driving, between church,work, West Valley PCA church
plant meetings,and home. This cna't be what 'A day of rest' should look like.

I don't like it, but it is what it is, and at this point, it's all I got So I try to at least be thankful for the hours at work and the ability to still get to church and spend some time with people before I need to leave for work. I guess in that aspect, I'm thankful that my church starts at a rediculously early time. It gives me time to fellowship afterwards without rushing right out of church or missing church, like I would if we still met at 11.

Being Productive at work!

2008-08-02T21:57:00.000-04:00

For me, that is a revolutionary concept! For the most part, I sit in a chair for 11 hours and am bored all day and don't do much of anything. Well, today I was in Morgantown, and was actually quite busy. The District Manager was there, so it meant a lot of people were calling into the store for approval codes and what not. I became the phone operator, and answer AT LEAST 100 calls during the day. It certainly kept me busy and not bored for once. There was even an instance where both salespeople and the DM were with costumers at the same time, and suddenly I got thrown into the role of "keep this lady in the store long enough so someone can get free and help her. Don't say anything stupid, and don't let her walk!"

Well, I won....as she didn't go anywhere and eventually bought.

IT was actually a fun day at work, because for once I didn't just sit in a store,try not to fall asleep, and play games on my phone.

Productivity is sweet! :P

2008-08-01T21:15:00.000-04:00

The company you keep will determine the trouble that you meet!!

Think about THAT!

another day of fun.

2008-07-31T23:01:00.000-04:00

Trust me, it needs to end soon. I'm spending too much money, though mostly what I am spending is money for gas to drive places but whatever. Yesterday I was at the beach all day. Today I was home working till 7 but then went into Reading to play Laser Tag with a few people, and then back to someone's house to swim. I HAVE managed my finances better, so I have more money to work with, but it won't last forever.

Tonight cost me $20 between Laser Tag, food, and driving to Reading. Life is a picnic now because I basically hang out with SOMEONE almost every night, but like I said...its ending soon. Most of these people head back to school in a few weeks...who knows what I'll be doing in September.
:(

Which way to the beach?

2008-07-30T23:36:00.000-04:00

Apparently you drive for a long long time with some cool friends and then a couple annoying kids as well and you get there. Or at least thats what it felt like today, as I was in the car with 13 other people and took a trip to Wildwoods. The day was actually really fun until the ride home which was just too much as all of us were crammed,tired,burned (badly), and annoyed. We left Reading at a little after 7 this morning, and got to the beach at about 10:00. It was great to spend some time with friends of mine and get a chance to hit the beach (probably for the last time this summer). We didn't get back to Reading till 10:30 so it was a very long day,but also a fun one. We played volleyball,ultimate frisbee, walked along the boardwalk, and swam in the freezing water, not necesarily in that order, and not necesarily only once each as I found myself going back and forth from swimming to the boardwalk at least 3 times!

Overall, it was a great day. and of course, pictures will follow at some point soon!

Maybe this is my call

2008-07-29T00:24:00.004-04:00

Sunday Night, I was once again at the Reed's house for the West Valley church plant meeting. We studied Acts 17:16-34. We studied it in a different way than I have been accustomed to, as instead of someone just explaining things, the group was asked to point out things that stuck out to them (and why). I will try to get into the discussion itself at some point, but not now. the way we examined the passage was amazing, and it helped me learn a lot.

I also realized something about the church plant Sunday night that I had not realized before. One of my biggest fears with going with the plant is that I don't know many of the people going. Then, Sunday night it hit me, as I was talking to 2 people I did not really know (I knew OF them,but did not know them). As I had these conversations, I realized that I am begging to know the people who will be part of this plant, just by being at these meetings! It's elementary I guess, but I had not really thought about it. The more I spend with these 'planters', the more I will get to know them and become a part of their life.

Czech this out

2008-07-28T18:19:00.000-04:00

On Saturday, my sister left Philadelphia to fly to Los Angeles and meet a team of people whom she is going to Prague in the Czech Rebuplic with on a missions trip. She was in L.A. for a few days and an hour ago, her plane left for Heathrow Airport in London. Please pray for her and the team while they are on this trip, and feel free to check out her blog she made for the trip (which already has some really AWESOME pictures on it!) You can check that out here!

I guess I should have shared this by now.

2008-07-27T07:13:00.000-04:00

For those of you that don't know, I am moving...and it might be to Virginia.

Below is an email that I sent to a group of people I know from church, and I figured I would share it here so my 'blog readers' also know what is going on.

Hey C3 folks! Hope this finds you all well.
Some of you have heard this, but I wanted all of you to know.

About 3 weeks ago, I found out that my family (Mom,Stepdad, and 3 younger siblings) are moving to Fredericksburgh,Virginia because my stepdad is moving positions within his company. My older sister will stay behind and live with my dad in Reading (in between college). My mom and stepdad have left me with a decision that I never wanted to make.
I can either stay here and live with my dad, or go with them. My stepdad leaves next Tuesday to begin his new position, and the rest of my family will be out of where we live now September 1st. It finally hit me today that this is for real, as I began packing up a lot of the stuff in my room. (Since I either move down there, or move to my dad's house)

They want me to at least check out some churches and schools down there , which I have begun doing, and make a 'list' of what I have here, and what I have (potentially) down there,as to weigh the options. They were hoping that I would not write off going with them without looking into it, and I have tried not to.

On the one hand, I don't want most of my family to leave and only see them a few times a year,
but on the other hand, I don't want to leave my dad,older sister, or the Lehigh Valley behind.

Over the last 23 months, I have gotten to know this core group more than I could ever have imagined. I have so many wonderful friends and influences in this group, that I never want to leave. Through God's grace, my life has changed dramatically over that time, and I have so many of you to thank for that. This (along with Cornerstone) was the first group I was ever part of where ,when someone asked me how I was doing, I knew they really wanted to know, and didn't just want to hear "good". I want to stay, because I want to continue to be a part of this ministry, but at the same time, I don't feel like I can say "NO" if God has called me to go to Virginia. My desire is to serve wherever God wants me, and if that is in Virginia, then so be it.

Again, I want to thank you all for the time I have had with all of you. Please pray for me this week, as I try to make a decision.

Thanks you all for your continued prayers and support
John Schuchman

My boring weekends!

2008-07-26T15:08:00.000-04:00

Also known as WORK.....which is what I am doing today.

It is SOOOOO boring......

I sit in a chair, in a suit....for 11 hours. That's what I do.
Except today when I have been playing DDR and Guitar Hero on Nintendo DS (which has been quite fun but I'm still bored as all get out)

Yeah so I'm kinda realizing that I need a new job....bad.
This job makes me want to shoot myself in the foot. :(

But it pays the bills so I guess I can't complain!

A night for the Youth

2008-07-25T11:58:00.000-04:00

Last night, I was able to attend the "Youth BBQ" that Cornerstone had to welcome to introduce the youth to Mike and Jenn Notary, the new youth directors (and good friends of mine).

Many questions surrounded my night, such as "Will I even be allowed to serve with the HS ministry and if so when". I tried to not think about it, but it came to my mind often.

I can't answer any of those questions, and I'm not sure the church has any answers yet either.

For now, I'm happy where I am at, and was thankful to get to know some of the Middle School kids and a lot of the parents.

My hope is to (if I stay in PA) to jump back into the HS group in the fall, but I'm not hoping for it because I don't want to be disappointed if it doesn't happen.

This is NOT good!

2008-07-24T14:35:00.001-04:00

Is It NBA or NFL?

36 have been accused of spousal abuse

7 have been arrested for fraud

19 have been accused of writing bad checks

117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses

3 have done time for assault

71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit

14 have been arrested on drug-related charges

8 have been arrested for shoplifting

21 currently are defendants in lawsuits

84 have been arrested for drunk driving in
the last year

Can
you guess which organization this is?

Give
up yet? . . Scroll down,

Neither,
it's the 435 members of the United States Congress

The same group of Idiots that crank out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of us in line.

the stupidity of some people.

2008-07-23T20:36:00.000-04:00

I often question whether or not people are relly as stupid as they look. I did that today.

Here was the situation.

I went to Barnes & Noble to 'study' because they have free wireless internet.

Well I go inside and start to look for a table with an electrical outlet so I can plug in my laptop. Not that complicated, right? Wrong. They had No outlets in the whole place. None.

You have to wonder 'Who built a Barnes & Noble with no outlets when the advertise that they have free wireless'

Either A, they didn't want people staying all day and using their internet the whole time... or

B They are just completely stupid.

I'd like to think it was A....but I'm pretty convinced its B.

Why is it so hard

2008-07-22T16:43:00.001-04:00

To tell someone you care about them, to tell them you want to be with them.

Relationships suck.
The end.

a different weak,a different man.

2008-07-21T21:30:00.003-04:00

I often feel like the title of this post accurately describes how I feel.

I go from week to week, and nothing ever changes in my life.
My 7 days of 24 hours are not weeks, they are weaks. I sometimes say to myself in the later half of a certain week, "Hey this week hasn't been bad. I haven't done this, but then, there's other issues going on, or if not, the same struggles are back just days later.

I find myself between a rock and a hard place wondering

Who am I.. am I the person who's heart cries out for the youth of this generation, who has a desire to help those in need, and who loves seeing the look on a child's face in a Sunday school class when they begin to understand the gospel (sometimes hard with the younger kids). Or....am I the person who longs to make myself happy, lives for myself, and often sins while not caring about the consequences or effects on others

I know that the real desire in me is the first scenario, but am I living like that?

So, that's why I often feel like my days are just one struggle after another.

Sunday night after the WVPCA Church Plant Meeting I drove home thinking the following:
Unless you begin to cling to Christ for everything you need, you are truly hopeless. How can you believe that you will soon (if you stay) be able to live by yourself, when you can't be responsible, truthful, and live for God.

So that's why I say 'A different weak, a different man', though now, it's no longer a weak but rather a true week. Unfortunately,I can't change what I have done and how I have sinned or struggled 3 weeks ago, 1 week ago, yesterday or whatever.

I can only worry about how I am living today, and I need to live my life for him, to become a different man, to show everyone around me through what I say and what I do, that my life is different, and I'm not longer living for myself... I'm (by his grace) living for him, no matter what the cost.

So I can only worry about today.
I don't think it is all that complex. It start with the simple stuff like skipping the 'rap' playlist on my iPod and opting for the 'Worship' playlist (Believe it or not, the words you hear do change what you think about and desire, as I have recently experienced it firsthand). Another simple step is just reading my bible everyday!

So simple, but it's often so hard to follow through.

It's a different weEk. So, now is the time to be a different man (the man I have been created to be).

More often then not, I will fail, but through his spirit inside me, there WILL be a change!

So now the daily question becomes.

Am I living for Christ today?

A crazy day

2008-07-20T23:16:00.000-04:00

That's what today was. I did a ton of driving (almost 200 miles) and that's never fun, but it was still a great day.

I woke up at 7:15 this morning after staying at a friend's house. From there, I went to church (ugh 8:30 is getting REAL old) and then chatted for a bit after church. From there I went to work @ 11. After work, I went up to the WVPCA church planting meeting. It was a great night, as we saw the Values, Vision, and Mission. Then I began my drive home, thinking and praying about what is at work in the West Valley.

It's been a long day, so I'm out.

see ya next time :)

Chillin and Grillin

2008-07-19T20:15:00.000-04:00

Today I have been working at the Sleepy's store in Pottstown. It is the first day I have working in 2 weeks! It has been quite boring so far but we had some good food so it kind of saved the day! We grilled some hamburgers and hot dogs for lunch ( I love stuff grilled on a charcoal grill! ). Then we had Bacon Pizza from Papa John's for dinner.

I found out I will be back here working tomorrow, which I don't like to do, but I need all the hours I can get.

Tonight I am going to hang out with a buddy of mine that I haven't seen for a while. Then it's up at 7:30 tomorrow and off to church! :/

My Computer is home!!!!

2008-07-18T21:35:00.000-04:00

Yay! Today is an exciting day!!! My computer FINALLY came back today! Finally.....no more blogging from my phone!!!I'm so happy, you have no idea.

I waited almost a month for this day.

Now I have no excuse to not finish my school. Dang....

Happy Birthday Mom!

2008-07-17T08:35:00.001-04:00

Today is my mom's birthday! (also known as "Anonymous" commenter on my blog)

I don't think I am going to embarrass her by sharing how old she is, but she's OLD!!

Haha. Happy Birthday Mom :)

Pictures..

2008-07-16T17:52:00.002-04:00

Ok... so I promised you guys pictures of the Camping Trip and the Reading Phillies game where Brett Myers pitched.

Well....I cam partially fulfill that promise, but not completely.

I lost one of my CompactFlash cards so as of right now I don't have the pictures from camping or from most of the game, but here are a few....because a promise is a promise :P

So anyway, I hope you enjoy!

Oh...and I bought Step Up 2: The Streets today! YAY!!!

All of these pictures ,except for the first one,are of Myers, and if you don't know who he is...why are you even here???

The first photo is Brad Harman, a top prospect in the Phillies minor league system who spent time with the Philadelphia Phillies earlier this season when Chase Utley was injured.

Anyways. Enjoy.

An exciting day!!

2008-07-15T08:40:00.000-04:00

That's what today is....

Why you ask!?

Well you shouldn't have to!

Anyone who is cool should know the reason for the excitement!

Today, Step Up 2: The Streets comes out on DVD!!!!

WOOHOO!

Why I don't buy from QVC

2008-07-14T14:35:00.000-04:00

Hopefully this explains it....

Churchplanters in the West Valley

2008-07-13T23:10:00.000-04:00

Tonight, I was privledged to spend a night with the group from the West Valley Church Plant (set to begin public worship in September Lord willing). They have been meeting every Sunday night, but my schedule had not allowed me to attend until this week. I still don't know whether I will go with the plant or stay wiht Cornerstone( that is if I stay in the area and do not move, more info to follow on that later this week). Part of me wants to stay at Cornerstone for different reasons (most of the people I am close to are staying, most of the younger guys are staying,etc). So...I don't know what I am doing. Initially I wanted to go with the plant, then I felt like I needed to stay with Cornerstone, and now I have kind of opened my mind and heart back up (again) to either, whether it be staying with Cornerstone, or going with the plant. So...IF I stay in the area, I will continue to worship with Cornerstone while also attending the weekly West Valley PCA meetings on Sunday nights, because I've closed my heart for too long, so where God wants me...is where I want to be.

Backpacks,Baseball, and Brett

2008-07-12T23:42:00.001-04:00

That's how I describe my perfect Saturday.
This morning the "crew" woke up at about 8 AM, and we hiked down about .5 miles to Sunfish Pond, then back to our campsite. We began our hike back at about 10:30 AM after we packed up our stuff. We hiked about 4 miles through the valley! :) We hiked a total of about 8 miles in the 2 day adventure. I was so worn out that I slept on the way back to Coopersburg, where we arrived at about 2:30. From there, I went home to Reading where I arrived at about 4. From there....I waited. Waited until about 5:30, where I then went to see the Reading Phillies, to see Brett Myers pitch! I took some awesome pictures (of course) and then came up with a brilliant idea. I brought my CF card to Wal-Mart, printed some of my photos, and then went back to the game to get Myers to sign them. As always, he was a jerk...and only signed for 2 people...but I was one of them ;)

SO anyway....now that you have learned a little of my dorky baseball experiences, I am out. Pictures to follow as soon as I can upload some!

Camping

2008-07-11T22:18:00.000-04:00

Right now....on the Appalachain Trail. It has been so much fun :)

I have spent a couple of hours with 2 other men, having a great time discussing and learning.
Its been awesome!

More to come :) including pictures. YAY!

What defines me?

2008-07-10T04:45:00.004-04:00

Hopeless.

That's where I'm at. I feel insecure,upset, alone, and I KNOW I have failed, once again.

Being a Christian is EASY when I'm at church, at bible study, or hanging with any of my Christian friends.

Being a Christian is HARD the rest of the time... when I'm working, when I'm driving, when I'm at a (non-Christian) friend's house, when I'm at the store, or when I'm alone and I feel like no one is watching me.

So what defines me?

Does the Lord who is doing a great work in my life and continues too?

Do all the 'patterns of this world' and 'deep desires' that I KNOW are sinful but WANT anyway?

I know what the answer should be, but sadly, and it breaks my heart to say this, that's not what the answer is.

I need to live a different life.

Again I cry out, "Lord Save Me"

Transition Time

2008-07-09T19:10:00.000-04:00

Some people who know me well know that I called this past month a 'month of transition'. It was in many different ways. I got a new car, moved closer to getting a new job, set up my plans for the summer, and continued to work on working out my plans for the fall. I recently heard some news that will REALLY make not the next month, but the next 60 days a TRUE month of transition, not just for my summer or fall, but rather for the entire rest of my life!

More details to come tommorrow or sometime soon.

Please pray for me through this REAL time of transition and pray that I can figure out what I am to do and where I am too go.

Night at the Phillies!

2008-07-08T13:48:00.005-04:00

I went to the Phillies vs. Mets game last night in Philadelphia!

After coming back form down 8-0, and 10-2, the Phills came back against the Mets bullpen to come within 1 hit of winning the game in the 9th. They loss 10-9. It was cool to at least see them not lose heart and keep fighting!
Here are just a few pictures of my fun night!

(I tired to make the pictures bigger but they extended off the screen)

Soo click the picture to expand it, and you can see the rest of the photos here

Adam Eaton (got rocked).

Pedro Martinez (is not the pitcher he once was).

Chris Coste (IS THE MAN).

Pat Burrell (deserves to be an All-Star).

J.C. Romero (also deserves to be an All-Star. He's one of the best relievers in the game today).

Gregg Dobbs (is here because I took an AMAZING PICTURE, not because he's talented).

Ryan Howard (slams the homers).

David Wright (is the only Met worthy of ANY respect).

hmm

2008-07-07T09:15:00.000-04:00

'God sent a repair crew for this broken world...
and we are it.'

I get it!

2008-07-06T15:42:00.001-04:00

I finally understand why I didn't blog for most of June. Blogging for me became more about the traffic (how many people were visiting my blog) than about the content of my posts. I came to a point where I got sick of blogging because I was posting because of who was reading instead of saying what was on my mind/in my heart. I told myself I would return when I didn't post because of who was visiting. I used to check my 'blog tracker' everyday, and usually more than once today. My blog is back, and I haven't checking my tracker in over a month, because I don't NEED to know how many people are reading or WHO is reading to be able to share what I am feeling.So I continue to blog, without tracking the blog :)

broken in pieces

2008-07-05T17:13:00.001-04:00

I'm here again
A thousand miles away from you
A broken mess, just scattered pieces of who I am
I tried so hard
Thought I could do this on my own
I've lost so much along the way

I've come undone
But you make sense of who I am
Like puzzle pieces in your eye

Then I'll see your face
I know I'm finally yours
I find everything I thought I lost before
You call my name
I come to you in pieces
So you can make me whole!

My time in the woods, PArt 2

2008-07-04T20:09:00.000-04:00

So......after my post last night.....I was with the man for another 2 hours. Basically, like I said last night, he didn't have his sons # (or at least not his USA ONE!!! LOL )

so anyway...the cops never arrived and said the got 'lost' My mom got involved and called her friend from Wycliffe to try to get Wycliffe to track this guy down, to no avail. At about 10:15 I got a call from a New Holland cop, basically telling me there wasn't much they could do :(

3 minutes later, another New Holland cop called me to tell me he had talked to this mans son twice and had his number for me ( So one cop says they can't do anything..another gives me all the info I need....haha)

Anyways..

I called his son and we talked about where to meet. So, I drove there to bring this man to his dad.

Once there, the old man was telling me how I went way above and beyond what I should have. I told him that I had not listened to God's call to help so many times before, way too often. I also told him so many times people have helped me and this was my turn to help someone else.

We both shared stories about how we had so many times not been as genorous or giving/charitable as we know God has wanted. I shared with him what I shared with you all last night, as I tried not to cry in front of this total stranger who I at this point felt like I had known for years!

His son and wife arrived soon afterwards and we chatted for a few minutes before we both parted ways.

I was so THANKFUL for this experience and life lesson. Thanks again Lord :)

Hopefully I won't ignore the next person I see who needs help! Hopefully I can also teach those around me to be willing to listen to God's call!!!!

That's my prayer.

Oh.....and Happy Independence Day!!!

I worked all day and now am going to Chuck E Cheese with my family. HAHA. Its for my brother, not me ;)

Helpless in the woods!

2008-07-03T21:08:00.001-04:00

Right now I'm standing in the middle of the road with a man I don't know....waiting for the cops to arrive...

Not exactly what I woke up this morning thinking I would be doing. Amazingly, I'm not in trouble!!!

I went to Wal-Mart and on my way back stopped at Trailside (where I used to work) to get some milk for the family. While inside I was asked by a former co-worker if I knew where a certain road was. I said I didn't but would check on the GPS I had with me. After searching, I was able to find it, and said I would try to help him get to his son and wife, whom he lost. He was without a cell phone, and tried calling his wife from a payphone but her phone was off. He was also not able to get in touch with his son.

So... we drove about 4 miles to where he thought the house was that his son was going too., but got nowhere.

At this point we were at a dead end, it was getting late, and he had no idea where to turn. I decided to call the police hoping his son had called or something. His son had not called them, but they said they would send an officer up to help us!

Come to find out (as we wait for the cops) this man's son is a missionary helping to translate bibles for Wyclif Bible Translators in Papa New Guini, which he and his wife have been doing for 12 years!!!

This was awesome to hear because I know people, friends of my mom who served with Wyclif in the Philipeans doing exactly what this man's son is doing!!

Wow, so here I stand (actually right now I am sitting in the middle of the road),sharing stories with this man who is just full of wisdom. We have talked about Wyclif, about bible translation around the world, and about our families!

What a great experience this has been!

Why I share this? Its certainly not for the praises of those around me, because seriously, I've spent 20 years and 9 days, living for myself, at the cost of others. So instead of wanting praises, what I need is people to be frustrated with me and ANGRY AT ME for the way I've lived!! What a disgrace.

WHAT TOOK SO LONG TO STOP LIVING MY LIFE FOR MYSELF??? And yet tomorrow and the next day and the next day, ect... I will DESIRE to live for myself. In my heart though, I know I WANT to help others. My desire is to help people! I want to help people that are lost (physically AND SPIRITUALLY), I WANT to TOUCH THE LIVES of the YOUTH around me and point them to my SAVIOR!!!!!

I called my mom to explain why I wasn't home (when I should have been home over 2 hours ago).

As any mother would, she was worried about me and responded that I shouldn't be out with some man I don't know in the middle of the night because 'its dangerous'.

I told her there was nothing to worry about, and I'm really not worried!

Seriously, I couldn't think of a better way to die than trying to help a fellow man!!!

That.....would be totally awesome!!

I've seen progress in my life. A year ago I would have 'shut my ear' to someone asking for directions. And yet, Now its not as noticable, but I still shut my ear to those around me, to my family and everyone else.

Has God done wonders in the last 2 years.....year.......6 months......MONTH...OF MY LIFE???? OF COURSE!!!

But how often have I ignored his call....even recently, to help those around me? How often in the past (insert time frime no matter how long or short) have I been too worried about what others thought of me to give a homeless guy on the street the change in my pocket....

or how often have I been too 'scared about my own safety' to pick up someone walking on the highway???

I've become accustom to turning my head or coming up with a 'good reason' Not to stop. :(

Save me Lord.
I NEED YOU!!!!

(and help us find this man's son as well.)

:)

Please pray today.

2008-07-02T10:47:00.000-04:00

For my family: I am at the hospital with my sister Margaret, who is 16. I have been here with her since noon. She basically fainted this morning. It has happened one time before. The last time this happened, she fell down a flight of stairs and began shaking and looked very pale. Today it wasn't as bad, but its still a problem that needs to be figured out.

Also pray for my mom and stepdad, who today are down in Virginia looking at houses for the third straight week. Pray that they will stay safe, and pray that Gods will be done. It looks more and more like they will be moving to VA which leaves me with soon to come choices that I don't feel ready to make.

For a friend.
I have a friend who went to Bob Jones University. Last week, while talking summer classes, she ran away from the school. She is currently in Alabama. I can't share a lot of the details, especially on my public blog, but she won't tell her family anything, so I have been dragged into it to help them get information from her. She is convinced that she is doing what is 'right' but I KNOW she is making dumb decisions and she needs prayer.

For me:

I need prayer because I feel frustrated over the school thing discussed in my last post and all of the unknowns for the fall. I also am frustrated about the job situation. I also need prayer for good decision making in terms of (if my family goes to VA) whether I should go or not, and if I don't where I should live and such.

:sighs:

Thanks guys!

Where have I been?

2008-07-01T21:48:00.003-04:00

That question is so hard to answer, especially in a blog post which I would like to keep short.

Well let's start by saying I am STILL looking for a job. Sears=No, UPS= probably won't happen, but this one was by choice. Again it's hard to explain why I can't get a job. Part of it I don't understand, much of it I do. Unless your one of the few people who know where I've been and what I've done, you won't understand. So anyways. I am still working as a "greeter" for Sleepy's as well as getting some extra hours as a 'secret shopper' today and this past Saturday as well as re-arranging two showrooms last Tuesday, so Thank you Lord for that opportunity!

What's up with school= Still not done these two stupid classes *pause to beat myself over the head with a stick* I need to get them done, and am taking the remaining tests next week. I also got a very encouraging email from Desales, which basically says that I can still get in for the fall if I have everything completed (online quiz, getting them my transcript) by August 1st.
6 weeks until classes start.
I am counting ;)
It would be awesome to be back for the fall, though it will be hard to make happen.
I would also have nowhere to live...so that will require some work as well.....

My computer= finally got sent back last week (one of the big reasons I haven't posted much in June, its hard to blog with a computer that doesn't work!) I should get it back sometime before next Wednesday ( can I survive that long without it!!!!????)

Last Tuesday= A week ago today, I turned 20 years old!!!
I was thankful for my awesome friend Ryan, who came out and went to Shady Maple with me, and to my family who planned a wonderful birthday dinner which I enjoyed thoroughly :)

( I have other thoughts about my birthday, which you will see in a post sometime very soon!)

Thanks for reading guys. I promise to return to the daily blogging in July. ( A reason why I was "off" for June is also coming in a soon to be post!)

Till then
-John

Best Sleep. Ever.

2008-06-20T23:48:00.000-04:00

Last night I had the best sleep of my life. No question about it. Yesterday my step-dad had me come into the Exton showroom. I picked up a very nice headboard/footboard there and got the sale written up. An hour later, I was driving to pick up the matress in Lancaster. I set it up yesterday afternoon and was sleeping on it hours later.
Tonight's sleep will be even better with the temper-pedic pillow my stepdad brought home for me tonight!!!!
It's as close to heaven as I have been so far!

In addition, today I FINALLY got my haircut. Now I just need to wait a couple weeks before I can dye my hair (hopefully)

As for everything else, the job hunt is still on. I have to call Sears tomorrow and then check a few places early next week. This is getting old...

what I have been up too.

2008-06-19T11:13:00.001-04:00

Where I have been over the past few days:

Saturday I worked all day, from 10-9

Sunday I also worked all day after church 11-7

Monday I was home all day and then had an interview/tour with UPS at 6 pm. Then I got to spend some day with my good friend Ryan. We went to the Golf drving range. It was my first time doing it. All I had ever done before was mini-golf. I was pretty terrible, even for my first time, but it was certainly fun. Then we went to get some late night food.

On Tuesday and Wednesday, I did work around the house and then tried to get school done, and failed misserably!

Today I had some errands to run, including one for my mom in Downingtown (where I am now). In a few minutes, I will be going to the Sleepy's Exton showroom to check out some beds ( I need a new one).

Since those of you who know me from Cornerstone have last seen me I have :

1.Gotten a new car
2. Been turned down on the job I applied for with Sleepy's (which is very frustrating, but what can I do?)
3. Found out that there is a possibility my family will be moving to Fredericksburg,VA
4. Attempted to get a much needed haircut, to no avail.
5. Had an interview/tour with UPS. They offered me a position but the hours and pay is not what I was made to believe it was, so I probably will not take it.
6. Searched for other jobs, but haven't found much yet. I really need to stop going slow and hurry up and find something.
7. Not received a paycheck in what is about to be 7 weeks. Needless to say, I am upset with the people with Sleepy's who handled my timesheets. Thank goodness I was able to manage my last paycheck well, because I still have money left from it.

That's about it I think!
Hopefully I can get that haircut today!