Monday, October 20, 2008

One of those weekends!

And LONG too...

That it was. The beginning of the weekend just sucked.
Luckily, the past couple of days saved it.

Thursday/Friday: Throwing up (all over my school books... that was exciting).

Saturday: Work was 'ehh' as normal.
Then I went home to study. A friend invited me to go to Hershey for the night, so that was the plan. Then it went from bad to REALLY bad.

While on the way, I was in a car crash! :(
Some IDIOT ran a stop sign and T-boned me.
It was terrible to deal with, and it's looking like my car will be totaled. Thankfully though, I have loan-lease payoff, so my loan will be paid off and its looking like I will get some money back as well, but still it kinda stinks that I have to deal with the hassle and now will have to get approve for another loan.


Sunday: The day things kind of turned around, or at least the day the crash didn't leave such a bad taste. Here's why.

I went to get a rental car, which the insurance company is paying for, and as me and my dad pulled up to Hertz to get the car, I said
Wow, wouldn't it be AWESOME if they gave me that new Mustang.
I never REALLY considered it a possibility, but OH what a HUGE smile went over my face when the lady says,
By the way Mr. Schuchman, we upgraded you to a Ford Mustang.

My jaw dropped!
Literally.
2008 Mustang GT
Red and she is HOT :)


It is AMAZING and so fun to drive.
Fast and Hot looking.
Maybe a little too fast for my own good! ;)


Pictures of the crash and the Stang to follow when I can get them up.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Love=

Necessary evil
Confusing
Awkward
One part of life that I don't understand, no matter how hard I try.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Truth In Silence

I'm not a big fan of silence.

Anyone who knows me shouldn't find that hard to believe. There is rarely a moment where I have complete silence in my life. I almost always have sound coming into my ears, usually through music which I play constantly.
So when I am placed in a spot of of true silence, I find myself in awe. There I was last night, or rather this morning at 1:00. I laid there thinking,trying to fall asleep. Thinking about events of the past few days and different conversations I've had. And I sat there until 1:40 to think, in silence. I tried and tried and couldn't fall asleep, so instead, I thought/prayed/wondered in silence. I was dead tired, but couldn't sleep!
Then,after think so hard, I finally fell asleep at 1:45. End of story?

No. I was dead tired, and just praying I would wake up in time to get to work by 8 AM. So my alarms (Yes I use more than one) were set: 7:20 AM. Next thing I know, Awake, jumping out of bed, alarm going off, and so I turn them off (or at least I thought I did).

I came downstairs, shaved, and went back upstairs to get dressed. Then I looked at the clock. 2:40 AM. What? Didn't I just fall asleep? I have no idea what happened or how I just woke up, but I did. Then, suddenly, the thoughts were back in my head again, and so I knew I needed to blog it, or else I would forget it.

So much is going through my mind right now that I don't understand.
Love? EH.... Don't ask cause I don't understand. No seriously. My head says one thing, my heart says another. I guess my facebook status I set before I fell asleep could accurately describe it all.
John is headed to bed. Doesn't want to think about it,but praying he can dream about it.


My head said don't even THINK about it. My heart desired for more than just thinking, and wanted to dream about it. I'm really not sure how my head and heart co-exist in the same body since they pull in opposite directions almost all of the time! If I get to a T, my heart says left, while my head says right. SO which do I listen to?

There's the part in my head that says
"You've got a lot more to worry about in life right now than dating. You need to concentrate on school,work, and serving God"
My heart fights back ''You've never dated anyone, you've said ''true love waits'' for the longest time, not even giving yourself a chance, so maybe now's the time. Take that step''

So that's where I am. Do I try, or do I forget about it? Ignoring it is often harder than heartbreak, at least for me. Would I rather not find out at all....or find out,even if it means this isn't the right one? I don't know the answer.

There's a part of me that hates this entire discussion, but let me make things clear. I'm not just looking to be with ANYONE, because they have come along, but have not been committed to the same beliefs that I have. And I've got standards and beliefs, and I can't stretch those for any girl, no matter how much I wish I could.

I can't date a non-Christian. That is 100% out of the question. There are other things as well, but that is neither here nor there. More than anything, I want her to love God more than anything else, and seek his direction.

I'm learning things I need to know to begin preparing myself for someone special, so that's kinds cool I guess.

I've learned that :
I'm NOT always right.
Saying 'I'm Sorry' always helps things.
Shouldn't these things been learned years ago? Yeah probably.



So anyway. That's where I'm at.

Somewhere between 'desiring for a relationship' while also 'desiring to wait on God's timing'.

I'm not sure the two can co-0exist, but it feels like ,right now at least, I am living between the two of them.

All the while, I'm learning what he's trying to tell me through the silence. Music off, Lights Out, selfish hopes and desires laid aside. Silence.

Friday, October 10, 2008

The skeptic!

For those that didn't know, I began taking a friend of mine to a bible study about skepticism. He doesn't believe in God or Christianity, so I figured this would be a good environment for him to learn and ask questions while also being in a safe environment. So far so good. He thought the leader (my pastor Jim) was 'cool' and when I asked him what he thought of the book/study he said he 'couldn't say yet without giving it more time'. I took that as a 'Yes, I'll be back in 2 weeks'. That's more than I thought I would get. I thought I would take him and we would be disinterested in the conversation,angry he came, and never want to go back. None of the the three happened, but rather just the opposite happened.

Pray for him, and for me as I learn more than I ever thought I could.
I thought I was just a ride there for him. Instead I am concerned for him, while also learning something about myself and my skepticism.

He (God) raised Lazarus from the dead. I have to trust that he can work in the heart of my friend as well

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

One of those days?

Ya know....one of those (Oops I slept in, woke up at 10 which was way to late because I really need to be awake by 9 to study, and dang it I slept so long that now I am more tired than when I went to bed, and crap that paper is due in a couple hours and I haven't started it...and oh my gosh..have I moved to Alaska? It is so cold in this house I need 3 or 4 coats on just to survive, but at least I'm awake and didn't sleep right through my class at noon) days.

Alive and awake I am, and a little less stressed (while still job hunting)

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Sick of school!

Seriously. When does it end. (checks WebAdvisor) 12/12/08.

Ugh, that can't come soon enough!

The semester started 42 days ago.

It ends in 69 days.

Ok I think I can handle that. I hope :/

It's just crazy and busy now.

Teachers need to realize that students have tough schedules and should work together and NOT all have test and papers due the same week!

Last week was so tough, with 3 test and 1 paper.
This week should be less stressful, hopefully!
I have a paper due tomorrow, a quiz tomorrow night, and a test that I am supposed to have taken by the end of this week (for one of my online courses).

So that's manageable!
Like I said though, I'm just ready for it to be over!

I am going over to the work study office tomorrow and hopefully getting some work on campus (about 10-15 hours a week)

That would make things a little more financially stable, so I'm praying that works out!

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Still a lot going on

Work Today at 8 AM. Not cool. But hey, I'm glad for the job so I'm not gonna complain. (at least not on Saturdays where I actually make decent money)

Another Job.
Still searching. My first option is going to be work study on campus at RACC. I plan on bring a resume in on Monday morning.

Phillies.
For those that didn't know, I was at Thursday night's National League Divsion Series Phillies game vs. the Brewers. It was the largest crowd in the history of Citizen's Bank Park, and oh my gosh....it was amazing. The best game I'm ever been too, and the atmosophere was crazy! I got some sick pictures, and I'll be sure to post some pictures when I get them uploaded and editied.

Phillies Again.
They play tonight in Milwakee. If they win, they'll be going to the NLCS, and 4 wins from the World Series. This is all so surreal. I can't believe this. My hope is to see them play my other team (Red Sox) in the World Series, but I just want to get through the Brewers before I worry about even the next round.

and Penguins :)
The Pittsburgh Penguins open their season tonight from Sweden against the Ottawa Senetors!!! No more screwing around.
This is OUR YEAR! and I mUST MUST MUST see my Pens play this year, if I go to Philly, or if I have to WALK to Pittsburgh. I must see them play!

Work till 1
Test from 1:30-2:30
Pens from 2:30-5:30
Phillies from 6:30-9:30
And in between all that, I'll squezze it some homework. That is if I am awake.

I have to take this huge Bio test at 1:30, and I've been up all night studying for it.
I was NOT going to go into another test unprepared. So, I've studied all night.
Hopefully it pays off.

I'm done not working as hard as I can.
Believe it or not, community college really does suck, and I'm looking to get back to Desales and get through college ASAP!


Aight, that's all for now!


GO PHILLS/PENS :)

Friday, October 3, 2008

A week!?

Dang...sorry

I forget to blog.
Mostly because I've reformed my views.
NoBama.

haha no but seriously.

I feel less included to blog about everything I do now.

If you've read for a while, I used to blog every day, even when there was nothing worth blogging about....

Today...I went to the bathroom


That's what it seems like a lot of my post were like.
HAHA

so....that is gone.

I'll blog when I feel the need to do so.


So now I do:


School is going crazy.
1 test this week
1 paper due this week
another test (which I have to take tomorrow) :(


I need to work hard, and I mean really hard, just to keep up with this stuff!